If Hope was real
by xnaley23
Summary: Haley and Nathan have a drunken night together, leading Haley to get pregnant. The only problem is, they aren't a couple, he's the school Jock and also the biggest jackass, playboy known to many and also captain of the basketball team. Whilst she's an outcas. What happens when the whole school finds out she's pregnant and he wants nothing to do with her or their unborn child
1. Holding on

**If hope was real**

 **Plot** **:** _Haley and Nathan have a drunken night together, leading Haley to get pregnant. The only problem is, they aren't a couple, he's the school Jock and also the biggest jackass, playboy known to many and also captain of the basketball team. Whilst she's an outcast, a nerd. What happens when the whole school finds out she's pregnant and he wants nothing to do with her or their unborn child…_

 ** _"_** ** _Oh, when you told me you'd leave I felt like I couldn't breathe my aching body fell to the floor you caused my heart to bleed and you still owe me a reason 'Cause I can't figure out why..."_**

[In the boy's locker room. Nathan and Tim have just finished basketball practice].

Quiet whispers echo around the boy's locker room, as rumors' soar from one ear to another. Eyes darting frantically, not wanting to be heard. Nathan moved past his teammates and made his way to his locker. Not wanting to listen to any of the conversations he quickly grabbed his things and began to leave.

"Nate, wait up" a voice came from behind him. Tim, it was Tim Smith, his friend, and teammate.

"What man?", Nathan said in a bitter tone.

"Did you hear all the rumors about you?", Tim asked hesitatingly.

"Yeah, I heard. I fucking heard them all", he stopped. Then he began to direct his anger and voice towards his teammates.

"I know all of you are talking about me. But you know what, I don't give a shit. So go fuck yourselves", Nathan loudly proclaimed to the whole room, as the boys listened in silence.

"Dude, calm down", Tim desperately urged.

"I got a bitch pregnant. Fuck you all", Nathan shouted as he angrily chucked his towel on the floor, leaving the room. Tim sighed as he followed him closely behind.

[In the school hallway]

Tim managed to catch up with Nathan, he jumped in front of him stopping him in his tracks. He put his hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye.

"Nate, what's going on man. Is it true? Did you get? Did you get her? Her, the nerd girl pregnant?", he bit his lip as he gripped a little tighter onto Nathans' shoulder, desperately waiting for a reply.

Nathan shoved his hand off of his shoulder, he was about to give Tim a piece of his mind but then he stopped. His eyes scanned over the hallway and he saw Haley grabbing books out of her locker. He angrily grunted as he shoved Tim out of the way and made his way towards her.

"Are you happy now?", Nathan rudely asked.

Haley looked up from the locker, to see a hovering Nathan standing before her. She sighed nervously and gulped. Not wanting to start anything, she dodged past him to leave. Nathan grabbed onto her arm tightly,

"I wasn't done talking to you", he exclaimed.

The anxiety curled into her stomach, hands clawing up her throat and choking her, not letting words escape from her lips. Nathan again asked, this time with his tone increasing,

"Are you happy now?".

Quietly she said "No", she avoided all eye contact with him.

His hand was still gripped around her arm.

"Look, it's one thing to start rumors about me. Just to increase your fricking popularity in school, and its another thing to be a bitch and just stand there", he angrily exclaimed.

Suddenly the whole school was in a standstill. All eyes on them, waiting for her next move.

"Look, I didn't start anything. You as well as I do, know what happened that night. This is just the consequence. Please, I already know you want nothing to do with me or this baby. It's okay, whatever. But please, don't harass me like this in front of everyone." She stopped, and realized what she just said as her eyes widened. Not knowing where on earth she got the strength to say that.

Nathans grip loosened on her arm as he slowly let it go. She felt relieved almost.

"Where's your proof huh? I sleep around with tons of girls. Bitch you aren't exactly my first choice" he mockingly joked.

Feeling taunted and insecure, she could feel her eyes well up. She held her own as some form of courage built up inside her.

"First of all, I'm not a bitch. My name is Haley. And second of all, here", she grabbed a chain out of her jean pocket and shoved it into his hand, almost grazing his skin.

"This is yours. You left it, on the floor. You know, after we had sex".

His eyes were in dismay, he looked down at the chain, "NS23" was engraved onto the dog-tag chain. He felt it in his hands, his exact chain. The same chain he had lost exactly 3 months ago. He moved his finger over it, the dents, the scratches. It was his chain. He almost felt stupid, and suddenly started to believe this girl. She wasn't lying. She really was pregnant with his child. Suddenly that night came back in flashes.

[ 3 Months earlier. The Tree Hill Ravens had just won their match against the Westside Wildcats. Last game of the season, they were top of the league. Of course, this called for a party]

-Flashback, Haley's POV-

What on earth was I even doing here? Lucas the idiot, forced me to come, and now he's off kissing Peyton somewhere and I'm all alone. I walked around the room, full of drunken teenagers chugging down God knows what. It smelt awful, I just wanted to get out. I looked around for Lucas, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I saw one of his teammates and told him to tell Luke, that I was going home. As I made my way to the front door, I was stopped in my tracks by none other than Nathan Scott. Sure I found him hot because he was a total babe. Those blue eyes were like a magnet, they just sucked you in. The way his shirt was sculpted so flawlessly around his rock hard abs. But his personality just ruined it. He was a total ass.

"Going somewhere?" he asked.

"Uh yeah, I was just leaving", I said avoiding eye contact.

"Come on, stay", he said, wrapping his muscly arm around me. It felt so wrong, but it was so right. God what was wrong with me.

"No, I really gotta go", I said as I tried to move his arm off of me.

"I'll drop you," he said. He said it so politely. So nicely, I don't know what came over me. I guess I was just lost in his eyes.

"Sure, if you want", why on earth did I just say that?

"Cool, let's go".

He grabbed his jacket and keys and walked me to his car. It was a huge car with really spacious seats. He had cans of beers and bottles of tequila, vodka, scotch, you name it. It all over the front seats of the car. He offered me tequila, I would naturally decline. But for some reason, I didn't. I grabbed it from him and chugged it down. He just laughed as he drank some too.

Before I knew it, I was drunk. Not knowing what had come over me, I looked into his eyes. He gave that half sided smile as he ran his hand over my thigh, gently. He moved closer, my lips parted and before I knew it, we were making out. Tongue and everything. Mesmerized lips pressed together time after time, transporting us to another world. Slow breathing and dancing tongues brought a fiery heat to the cold air. Gentle touches and warm embraces. With just the two of us there, the rest of the world disappeared. It felt like I was in a dream.

Desire ignited the world around us as we became lost in a sea of lust and love. It was a sensual, powerful combination that sent waves of passion crashing over us. The rest of the world was engulfed in our lustful burning flames as our kisses grew more urgent; rushes. As our lips pulled apart, I was gasping for air. He wrapped his hands around my waist, gripping onto it so tightly. He slowly moved away from my lips and worked his was to my neck. A gentle breeze fluttered over the flame extinguishing the desperate heat. Our breathing came out in short, desperate gasps.

The rest of the night was a blur. I woke up the next morning, totally naked in the backseat of his car. I looked over and saw him, naked. God. What the hell happened. How? I looked everywhere for my clothes and managed to find them. My head was spinning and I felt like absolute crap. I looked out the car window and we were at a beach? My mind was wondering as I tried to recollect my memory.

-Flashback over-

"And yeah, I'm happy. I'm so damn happy" she sarcastically said rolling her eyes as she then brushed past him leaving him dumbfounded.

Tim scanned around the hallway, he yelled "Nothing to see her, move along. God".

The hallway began to clear as him and Nathan was left standing there. Nathan gripped onto the chain and shook his head in dismay.

"What are you gonna do?", Tim asked.

"Nothing. She wants to keep the kid, whatever", Nathan replied dismissively.

[4 Months Later. At School]

Nathan sat at his desk in his Biology lesson, tapping his pen on the table mindlessly. He watched the clock as time seemed to be taking forever to move on. He suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder, as he turned around he saw Tim holding a note for him. He quickly grabbed the note and read it under his desk. The note read,

"College party tonight at 10.", Nathan smiled as he folded up the note and put it in his pocket. He turned around and nodded at Tim. Caught up in his own world, he didn't realize the sudden noise and chaos coming from outside. He wondered as to what on earth was going on? He peeped his head towards the classroom door to catch a glimpse of the disarray. Suddenly he could hear his name being called.

Outside the classroom, Haley lay on the floor. Blood had spread between her thighs as she clung onto her stomach in agony. It felt like angry fists were twisting and turning inside her. Blood pooled all over the floor as she lay up against a locker, gasping for air. She clenched her fists tightly as tears uncontrollably rolled down her cheeks. Brooke came running with a towel, she put it between her legs, and wiped her forehead with a wet towel. Brooke looked down at the sorry sight. It looked like a mass murder had taken place, so much blood for one person. She grabbed Haley's thighs and pressed them closer together, forcing the towel to absorb the blood which was gushing out from the inside of her.

"Haley, it's okay. Just breathe. The ambulance is coming", Brooke said reassuringly.

"That son of a bitch, Nathan Scott. Just gets you pregnant and doesn't want anything to do with the baby", she loudly yelled.

Everyone in the hallway had gathered around, looking at this mess, whispers began to flow across the room, "Nathan Scott, what an ass", "Nate, screwed up. Poor girl", people said sympathetically. Haley held onto Brooke's hand tightly as she moved her head back up against the locker hopelessly. Her eyes were crimson red from all the crying she could feel the blood flowing out of her like a waterfall. She didn't know how much longer she could take. Brooke noticed the once white towel was now blood shot red, she grabbed it out from under her and placed two more towels between her legs. It was no use. It was like someone had opened a tap, and forgot to turn it off. Nathan in the meantime had left his classroom, to see what all the chaos was all about. He brushed passed the crowd until he got to where Haley was.

His eyes widened, as he was filled with shock and horror. His eyes scanned the floor and saw the blood filled towels, the massive pool of blood surrounding her. For a split second, he felt bad for her. He felt like this was all his fault. He gulped as he knelt down, he gently put his hand on her leg, as he looked up at her.

"Can I help?", he worriedly asked.

Brooke shook her head in anger, as she shoved his hand off of her leg.

"I think you've done enough", she screamed.

"Brooke", Haley whimpered as she shook her head.

Nathan saw the state of Haley and he couldn't help but feel heartbroken. She was as pale as the moon. Her skin flushed, her eyes blood shot red. She looked desperate and hurt. Pain encircled over her body as she took long deep breaths.

"How long is this God Damn ambulance gonna be?" he yelled, looking around.

Haley began to feel weaker and weaker, Brooke grew worried as she patted her head down with a wet towel.

"Haley, keep your eyes open okay. Help is on its way".

Haley's eyes fluttered, as she took slow deep breaths, she was in agony. Haley slowly moved her hands between her legs, she pressed onto the towels.

"Brooke, the blood isn't stopping", she sighed as she let out a cry.

"I'll get some more towels", Brooke said.

"Nathan, hold these towels tighter", she yelled as she grabbed his hand and placed them on top of Haley's hand.

Nathan gripped onto Haley's hand tightly, slowly moving his thumb across her knuckles in slow reassurance. He looked her in the eyes, trying to let her find some form of comfort. He knew she had a weakness for his blue eyes.

"Haley, you're gonna be okay, I promise", he said.

Haley was in another dimension her eyes had closed as her body collapsed on her.

Nathan grew worried, he jolted from his position and sat next to her he wrapped his arms around her weeping body. Gently, he placed her head on his shoulder, caressing her face. He could feel the wetness of the tears she had cried on her pale face…


	2. A fool for your love

**A fool for your love**

 **Summary:** Haley and the babies lives hang in the balance…how does it affect those around her? Especially Nathan…

 ** _"_** ** _I was born under a bad sign, left out in the cold. I'm a lonely man who knows just what it means to lose control. But, I took all the heartache and turned it to shame"_**

 ** _-[In the school, as the ambulance finally arrives]-_**

Nathan held onto Haley as tightly as he possibly knew how. He gently moved her hair away from her eyes as the paramedic sat beside them. Nathan looked up at the man as he felt a lump in his throat. It was like he had committed a crime and he was being punished. The paramedic; named Phil, observed the scene. He saw the amount of blood loss, it looked like multiple causalities had been involved in an abhorrent accident, but it was just one.

"How far is she?" the paramedic asked.

Nathan sat there absent minded, not knowing what to say. Of course, how could he possibly know anything about this baby? He was just a sperm donor, at least that's what he kept telling himself. Although due to recent events, he felt that change.

"Kid, how far along is she?", he repeated as he placed an IV in Haley's arm.

"Erm. I-I, I don't know?", he stuttered

"What are you? A friend? Just a passerby?"

"No, I-I'm the father", he replied

This was the first time in months he accepted this.

"She's 7-months!", came a reply from the distance. It was Brooke. Brooke had come rushing over as she handed the paramedic some more towels. The paramedic carefully placed an oxygen mask on Haley's face as he gently laid her down on the gurney. He felt her heart-rate and grew concerned. Nathan observed his facial expressions.

"Is she gonna be okay", he asked reluctantly.

"I don't know kid. She's lost a lot of blood", he replied sternly

Phil and another paramedic held onto the gurney as they whisked her away to the ambulance. Nathan and Brooke followed closely behind.

"Only one person Is allowed to ride with her", said the driver of the ambulance.

Nathan felt hopeless, he wanted to go with her and make sure she was okay, so his mind could be put at ease. He wanted to hold her hand and caress her face and tell her he was sorry, and that everything was his fault. But these were just thoughts of the moment, he kept telling himself. He wouldn't feel like this tomorrow. She didn't mean anything to him.

"You, go", Nathan motioned as he pointed to Brooke.

"I'll, follow with my car behind you guys", he replied as he walked away from the scene.

He promised himself he would go to his car and follow the ambulance. That he would go to the hospital and sit by her bedside and pray for her. But that wasn't him. That was just momentarily, "good-guy" Nathan. He shook his head as he fought with himself, about what to do. Should he go? Or should he stay?

 ** _-[ At the hospital ]-_**

Brooke stood nervously on the sidelines, as tons of doctors were walking in and out, attending to Haley. She kept turning around, hoping Nathan would walk through the door. But she knew it was useless, he didn't actually care about Haley or this baby for that matter. That temporary care he showed, was probably all just a stunt so the school would stop calling him a jackass. She shook her head miserably as she peeped her head through two doctors to see a still Haley laying there hopelessly.

"Ma'am, we need to operate on her and take out the baby. There's a huge risk to Haley and the baby right now", said a doctor. But Brooke was so caught up in her own thoughts she didn't even hear what the doctor was saying.

"Ma'am?" repeated the doctor, trying to get her attention

"Oh, yes me", Brooke responded as she saw the doctor talking to her.

"We need to take out the baby", she said again

"But why? She's only 7 months!"

"She had what we call Placental abruption. She had a large amount of bleeding, the placenta is completely separated from the lining of the womb. Placental abruption is a serious condition and a huge risk to the baby. Abruption can deprive the baby of oxygen and nutrients. And due to a large amount of bleeding it is dangerous for them both," she explained.

"Well then operate and save their lives", said a voice from behind. It was Nathan. He had shown. Brooke was pleasantly surprised.

"And who might you be?" asked the doctor

"I'm the father", he somewhat confidently replied.

"I see. We need you to fill out some paperwork. Right this way", she motioned as she and Nathan walked off.

Brooke walked over to Haley, her eyes were barely open. She was in agonizing pain. Brooke couldn't help but feel tears in her eyes. She refused to blink, in case they came out, she didn't want to worry Haley. Haley looked up at Brooke. Brooke caressed her face as she kissed her on the forehead. She tightly squeezed onto her hand as she let out a reassuring smile.

"You're gonna be okay bud", she hesitantly said.

"Noah," she said, it sounded like a whisper.

"Noah?" Brooke replied confused

"If, it's a boy. His name is Noah", she said. Words barely escaped from her lips.

"Hales, you're gonna be here okay. When you wake up. Your gonna get to hold the baby and name him yourself", she said with a lump in her throat.

"Ava", Haley whispered

"Haley! You're gonna name this baby when you wake up okay! Stop", she said as tears were flowing from her eyes.

Not before long, Nathan and the doctor had walked into the room. Nathan was wearing blue scrub's, he was going into surgery to deliver the baby. The doctor's prepped Haley as they wheeled her away into the OR. Nathan walked over to Brooke, and without saying anything to her gave her a tight hug. As he pulled away from the hug he looked her in the eyes. Without saying a word, he walked off, leaving a sobbing Brooke to stand there wondering and assuming the worst. She bled the salt of her soul from his eyes as she clenched her fists, the darkness that she feared would soon swallow her…

 ** _-[In the OR]-_**

A patient Nathan stood there as surgeons proceeded with their job. He saw Haley lying their unconscious, he almost felt sick. She had gone through so much pain, so much suffering all because of one drunken night. He had always been attracted to her, but she wasn't his "type", they came from different worlds. He was at the top of the food chain and she barely scraped the bottom. Their cliques defined them, so for him to even be associated with a girl like her was already "going against the rules". He only invited Lucas to his party so that he could sleep with her, that was his whole intention in the first place. He knew that she wouldn't like the party atmosphere and that she would want to leave early.

He had it all planned out. She would leave and he'd be the saviour of the night, offering her a lift home. How he'd get her totally wasted and then take advantage of her weakness; a shirtless him. He knew she was a sucker for his body, those rock hard abs, and those electric blue eyes. He had always gotten what he wanted, even if It meant breaking the rules and sleeping with a girl from a different clique. His plan was successful. Until the moment he found out she was pregnant with his child. All he wanted was one night with her, no rules, no feelings, just to be with her. It was wrong, his whole approach was demeaning. But to him nothing felt more right.

When she got pregnant, his world literally fell apart. He started to think that it happened for a reason, that he was supposed to end up with her. That some way this baby would bring them together. As he looked over at Haley and the situation he had put her in, he felt sick. He felt disgusted at himself that even he could stoop this low. Guilt; A very sad emotion, when you feel It, It feels like your heart Is sagging down into an empty pit of darkens. It feels like you will never get up again once you fall down. Like the darkens Is creeping in on you, like your dead, but you still feel. He felt guilty and sickened.

"Mr. Scott. Are you ready?", said the surgeon as Nathan snapped out of his thoughts.

"Ah. Yeah, Yeah", he replied as he got ready.

The surgeons made a large incision as they cut her open. They held onto the tiniest little baby, as they pulled it out. Nathan stood there in shock. This was his child, a part of him. He started to shake as he felt his legs sway. He gulped as the surgeon motioned for him to cut the umbilical cord. As he did, he waited for a cry. The usual, typical loud cry you hear when a baby enters the world. He didn't hear anything. In fact, there was pin-drop silence.

"It's a boy", said the nurse as she quickly grabbed him and placed him in a towel.

"Why isn't he crying?" Nathan asked growing scared

"He's got decreased breath sounds, he's not breathing properly. Take him to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit)" yelled the surgeon.

Beeps went off all over the room like sirens of warning. What on earth was going on? Nathan looked over at his son being whisked away by some nurses and doctors, as the beeps grew louder.

"She's crashing! Her hearts stopped", yelled one surgeon

"Get him out of here", another shouted

Before Nathan could take in what was happening, he was already pushed outside the room. The nurse told him to go wait in the waiting room. Instead, he felt sick, his legs gave way as he fell to the floor with his face in his hands. Men don't cry, right? But then what about that exploding bout of emotions which was being pumped in turbulently through his vessels. They so badly needed a way to escape. He felt as though he was about to explode. He clenched both of his fists and let out a loud agonizing cry for help.

His loudly thudding heart had slowed down the intensity, his trembling legs slowly gave into the silence of his hopeless eyes which were emptying its last drops of emotions down his cheeks. The despair and pain erupted from him like a volcano and before he knew it his cheeks were like a waterfall of emotion and pain. His eyes searched for comfort in his sparse vacant surroundings but he found no amenity around his. His face contorted into a portrait of anguish. He felt his life erupt out of him until he felt nothing at all. How could he lose something that wasn't even his? How could he cry over someone he didn't even know?


	3. You found me

**You found me**

 **Summary:** _Dan and Deb find out about Nathan getting Haley pregnant, but they aren't the only set of parents who are pissed. Haley's parents also find out, about this ordeal. How does this affect their families?_

 ** _"_** ** _Where were you? When everything was falling apart? All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang and all I needed was a call that never came… Lost and insecure. You found me, you found me lyin' on the floor Surrounded, surrounded Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late you found me, you found me…"_**

"That son of a bitch, I'm gonna kill him" yelled Jimmy James, Haley's father. As he marched angrily through the hospital corridors in rage as her mother Lydia followed closely behind. Haley's parents had just gotten the calamitous news about their daughter. They never wanted her to go ahead with the pregnancy, but supported her anyway. She was their baby girl after all. They finally arrived in the waiting room, Jimmy saw Nathan sitting there with his face buried in his hands. Anger swept over him as she walked over to him. Jimmy wasn't messing around. He grabbed Nathan by his shirt collar and pinned him against the wall.

"You bastard, how dare you do this to my baby girl" he yelled.

"Get off of me", Nathan shouted as he tried to free himself of Jimmy's tight grip.

"Get off of you? You son of a bitch, you did this to my daughter. You got her pregnant and you weren't man enough to stand by her side. You watched her suffer for months on end, only for it to come down to this", he broke down. Tears were streaming down his face as his anger only grew.

"Get the fuck off of me", Nathan cried as he pushed Jimmy off of him.

Jimmy shook his head as he then grabbed Nathan by his neck, he pressed his hands tightly against his throat as he pinned him against the same wall. He wasn't backing down.

"Who the hell do you think you are kid? You wanna fight me. Let's fight" he screamed as he let go of Nathan.

Nathan fixed his collar as he rubbed his neck, which was sore from the tight grip of her father. Before he knew it, Jimmy came at him like a raging bull. He could see the fire and torment in his eyes. Jimmy almost knocked the wind out of him, he threw a punch so hard it shook his whole body. He repeatedly threw punches to a defenceless Nathan. Nathan had never felt more hopeless in his life, it was not that he couldn't beat Jimmy up. Oh, he so easily could…but for some reason he felt like he deserved it. For a moment he was fighting back, but as he looked into Jimmy's eye's he saw the pain, the anguish, even the fear. He was just a father looking out for his daughter. The same daughter who he got pregnant, and treated like absolute crap. Each punch to him felt like, his way of taking the punishment of causing Haley so much pain.

 ** _-Nathan's POV-_**

People say you get used to pain. I don't think I'll ever be able to get used to this pain. The first slap sends all my self-control flying back into the depth of my head. I hold my cheek as a thin trickle of blood runs down my face from his anguish. I whimper and crumple to the floor as a well-aimed kick comes in contact with my lower abdomen. I curl up into a ball as the violence continues. Every blow sends a sharp searing jolt of my pain through my body. The blackness of unconsciousness beckons to me and finally I give in. But to be honest, I deserved this. Every last punch, every last kick. This is what I deserved. Heck, all that pain I saw Haley in today. This was next to nothing. Just look at his eyes, God he wants me dead.

 ** _-End of Nathan's POV-_**

"Hey! Hey! Let go of him", yelled a voice from behind.

It was Dan. Dan Scott, Nathan's father. Dan grabbed Jimmy and threw him aside as he tended to his bleeding and bruised son. Dan looked at Nathan and shook his head. He sighed angrily as he slapped him across his face. Nathan's eyes were black and blue, he had blood trickling down from his busted lip. His face looked like a painting drawn by a disturbed artist, with blue's and red's with hints of maroons.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?", screeched Dan.

Nathan stood silently as he felt the anger waves crash and burn into his pounded face. Dan grew angrier at Nathan's silence. He grabbed him by his collar and lifted him almost off the ground.

"Tell, me. Why the hell didn't you fucking tell me", he screamed.

The apple didn't fall far from the tree, it wasn't only Dan who could catapult anger into a fireball of rage and fury. Nathan pushed Dan off of him. He grew tense.

"Because I fucking didn't. I Didn't want anything to do with this girl. With this baby. I thought she would go away, get an abortion. Leave me the hell alone. But she didn't. Instead, she fucking bled out in school. So much fucking blood. It was like someone shot her. But no one shot her except me. I did that to her. And then I got to the hospital, and I saw her in so much damn pain. She didn't say anything. She just laid there so fucking helpless. You don't get it. I had to deliver the fucking baby. I cut her damn umbilical cord. The kid wasn't even breathing. He didn't even let out a whimper. Now two people who I don't even know really well are both fighting for their lives and it's all my fucking fault. Because I chose to sleep with her, get her drunk and take advantage. All because I thought she was hot, and I wanted to get her. For one fucking night. So I guess this is God's way of slapping karma in my face real hard. Are you happy now dad? You're a grandfather and mom. Congrats grandma. Mr. and Mrs. James, your fucking grandparents. We should really celebrate. But we fucking can't can we. Because I'm a screw-up. Well done dad, you must be really fucking proud".

He screamed as tears were rolling down his cheeks uncontrollably. He was shaking. He bit his lip and took a deep breath as he turned his head around from the scene and leaned it up against a wall. He miserably banged his head against the concrete wall as he shook his head in despair. The room was filled with nothing but Nathan's cries. Everyone else stood in silence.

"Are you done? Is this little circus act finished?", said Dan tauntingly.

Nathan grew enraged by his father's bitter words, which cut him deeper than any knife ever could. It was salt into his wounds. Nathan quickly turned around from the wall, lifting his fist ready to punch his father. Dan jolted back as his son's fist missed his face by split second. Dan let out a laugh, at his son's pathetic attempt. This only fuelled Nathan more, this time, he was not going to miss. He threw his fist right on his father's nose, causing Dan to let out a yelp in agony.

"Damnit, Nathan", he screamed as he held his bleeding nose.

"Honey, you should have said something. You could have spoken to me.", said Deb as she placed her hand on Nathan's shoulder.

"Said what ma? That I knocked up a girl who I don't even know" he responded in anger

"Nathan, you got her pregnant. You had to face up to it sooner or later. This wasn't just going to go away", came a voice he had not heard. It was Lydia, Haley's mom. She looked worried as hell, but she seemed somewhat decent.

"He's ruined his life that's what", yelled Dan.

"Oh Hell, you shut up about ruining HIS life. What about MY daughter huh? She's the one who had to deal with getting all big a fat and walking around all guilt ridden. She's the one who damn bled out in the school hallway in front of the entire student body. Hell, you saying he's ruined his life. Open your damn eyes", screamed Jimmy.

Everyone was right in their own respect. Each to their own Nathan thought as he left the room full of angry parents. He didn't know where he was going, but he just needed to leave that dire scene. All bloodied and all bruised he walked his way through the hospital corridors like a lost puppy. Before he knew it, he was in the NICU. NICU? That sounded familiar to him. He tried to recall his thoughts and events. He then realised that that's where they had taken his son. He gulped as he opened the door to find him. It wasn't before long he was stopped by a nurse.

"And where do you think you're going?" said the nurse

"I'm here to see my son", he replied

"And who might that be?"

"He doesn't have a name, I guess its just baby boy James-Scott at this point? Or just Baby boy Scott? I don't know"

"When was he born and to whom?"

"He was born today and to Haley James"

"Oh, yes he was brought in just a few hours ago. But look I can't just let anyone in. I'm sorry. You have to show me some proof you are his father"

"Ask Dr. Peterson. I was there in the delivery room, I cut his umbilical cord. Or ask Nurse Samantha Tanner. They know me" he replied with confidence.

"Alright, wait here"

Soon after she came back with Nurse Tanner.

"Ah, Yes. Nathan Scott" she said looking at him

"But son, what on earth happened to your gorgeous face," she said in shock

"My baby mama's father is what happened ma'am"

"Ouch," she said with a sigh

"Alright, wear those and follow me". She said

Nathan put on some blue hospital overalls as he followed Nurse Tanner. The room was filled with the tiniest of tiny babies. He looked around the room, waiting to catch a glimpse of his son. Finally, nurse Tanner pointed at an incubator.

"He's yours," she said as she walked off.

Nathan slowly walked over to the incubator as he looked inside. He saw his son lying there, with all these machines attached to him. He was so tiny, his son was barely the size of his hand. He was wearing nothing but a diaper and a knitted blue hat. Nathan looked over at this blue card which read

"Baby boy Scott, Son of Nathan Scott and Haley James. Weight: 2 pounds and 1 ounce"

There were these circular holes cut out into the glass incubators, Nathan put his finger through It and held onto his son's hand. He gently stroked his tiny hands as tears fell down his bruised face.

"Listen, buddy, I'm really sorry you gotta see me like this. I know it must suck seeing your dad look like a beaten up rag doll or something. But I promise I'm gonna look real good for you the next time I come visit. And hey listen, I can't wait for you to meet your mama. She's a real babe I tell ya. You're gonna love her so much, I know that. She's gonna be an amazing mother to you kid. She really will be. And me? I don't know where I stand lil man. I don't know if you even deserve someone like me, in your life. I'm a real bad person. I do stupid things sometimes but to be honest with you, just between the two of us. Getting your mama pregnant was probably the best thing I ever did. Only because I got you. You're real cute you know that. You get that from me. Listen. I need you to get better okay. So you can be big and strong like me. I'm really sorry for how I got you here, but I promise you won't regret it. Get well soon okay?" he said as he had a lump in his throat. He stroked his little hands as he moved his finger out of the circular hole.

 ** _"_** ** _In the end, everyone ends up alone losing her the only one who's ever known who I am who I'm not, who I wanna be. No way to know, how long she will be next to me… Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late you found me, you found me. Why'd you have to wait? To find me, to find me"_**


	4. Won't stop

**Won't stop**

 ** _"_** ** _Now I stared at you from across the room until both my eyes were faded. I was in a rush. I was out of luck, now I'm so glad that I waited. Well you were almost there, almost mine...yeah. They say love ain't fair, but I'm doing fine..."_**

 **Summary:** _Lucas confronts Nathan about Haley, so does Brooke. Lucas vows to get revenge on Nathan. Haley finally wakes up, but will she forgive Nathan? And will she get to see her baby?_

As Nathan left the NICU, he was met with a familiar face. He saw Brooke Davis walking towards him, he knew how much she hated him. He didn't know whether to flee the scene as soon as possible or give her the time of day. He bit his lip as he pretended he didn't notice her. He decided he wasn't going to converse with her, as she would just give him a hard time like everyone else. He quickly turned around, ready to leave. Brooke noticed him do this, she quickened her pace and managed to catch up to him. She placed her hand on the back of his shoulder, hoping he would turn around.

"Nathan", she yelled.

Nathan knew it was Brooke. He was praying she would leave him alone, he hated confrontation. Especially when he was feeling vulnerable. He sighed as he kept his back to her.

"Haley's awake. Aren't you gonna see her?" she questioned.

"No", he quickly answered.

"Why?"

"She doesn't want to see me"

"And how do you know that?"

"You tell me, Brooke. Would anybody wanna see me? Especially after the way I treated her?"

"I see your point. But you still have to face her sooner or later"

"I know"

"You can run all you want Nate. But she isn't going to go away"

"Ok"

"I know you're a jackass and all. And you have this reputation of a bad boy. But I'm sure Haley saw past all that. That's probably why she slept with you in the first place"

Nathan turned around. He looked Brooke dead in the eyes. She was stunned to see his appearance. All bloody and bruised. Her eyes scanned his face as she tried to figure out what happened.

"Before you ask, Haley's dad did this to me. I didn't fight back. I want to see Haley, I do. But now is not the time" he sighed as he broke the eye contact

"Where are you gonna go anyway?"

"I don't know it's not like I can go home. The second my dad see's me, he's gonna kill me. First for ruining my life and my potential basketball career, then for getting a girl pregnant and then for not telling him about it. So I don't know where the fuck I'm going" he explained

"Dude, I get it. In your own time," she said as Nathan gave a nod and walked off. Brooke sighed as she walked back to Haley's hospital room. There she saw Haley's parents sitting by her bedside. It was the first time in a long time she had seen her at ease. At peace. Her parents had a way of making her feel at home, even though in reality she was a million miles away. Brooke smiled as she walked in the room.

"How you feeling kiddo?" she asked

"Sore, but I'll be okay", Haley muttered.

"She's a trooper. A real trooper", proclaimed her father.

Trooper? Where had she heard those words before? Haley recalled the past events as it came flashing back to her. She remembered how Nathan sat beside her until the ambulance came. He kept telling her she was a trooper and that she'd make it through, and he'd make sure of it. She felt like she was remembering a false dream. Nathan Scott, actually being human for once and not an ass hole? Couldn't it be? Could it? As she scanned the room she noticed everyone there but Nathan. She wondered where he was, and why he wasn't here.

"Where's Nathan?" she fretted

Suddenly the room was filled with an unavoidable silence. Her parents refused to make eye contact with her. They fiddled around nervously hoping she would change the subject. Brooke noticed her parent's anxiety and felt obliged to answer.

"I just saw him. He was in the NICU, with the baby" she responded.

"Is he gonna come and see me?" she questioned

"Yeah, he is. He just said he needed some time."

What time could he possibly want now? They had already broken any awkwardness between them by sleeping together. And not to forget having this baby. And now the boy wanted time? God, what was it about these boys? Haley thought as her mind was a jumbled jigsaw puzzle.

"If you see him again, can you please tell him I want to see him" she declared.

"Uh, yeah. Of course", Brooke nervously responded as she was met by angry gazes from Haley's parents.

[ Back to Nathan]

As Nathan mindlessly wandered the halls of the hospital, he was unpleasantly greeted by his half brother. Lucas Scott. God, he hated Lucas more than anything. His first instinct was to mount him right then and there and make a break for it. He didn't want to deal with anybody right now, and he knew, he just knew this confrontation with Lucas was gonna be hell.

"Get the fuck out of my way", Nathan motioned as he budged passed Lucas

"Not so fast", responded Lucas as he grabbed onto his arm

"Listen here you little punk, get the fuck off of me now or else I swear to God you're gonna be sleeping in your grave tonight." Nathan threatened.

"Funny how you're threatening to beat me up when you're the one who looks like they could use a few fighting lessons" he mocked.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"You got her pregnant. You son of a bitch, you fucking got her pregnant and walked away. What do you think I want? Another reason to hate you?"

"It's funny. People keep telling me how I got HER pregnant. But forget the basic principals of biology. Do You want a science lesson in reproduction Lucas? Because if I recall, you can't clap with just ONE hand", he taunted

"The hell you on about?"

"Sex. You know. S-E-X. Making love…That It takes TWO people to make a baby. I get it, I fucked her. I fucked her real good and she got pregnant. But it's not like she didn't want me. Because SHE was all over me that night. Kissing me, licking me in all the right places. GOD. I sleep with a lot of girls but DAMN, I will NEVER forget my experience with her. She gave me a night to rem— "

Lucas cut him off as he interrupted his repulsive story.

"STOP! Just stop it! What the fuck is wrong with you?" he screamed

"What? I was just giving you a lesson in biology." He mocked as he laughed at Lucas's uneasiness.

"You're gonna pay for this. I swear to God, you're gonna pay for this" he yelled as he walked off, too disgusted to even look at his face.

Nathan sighed loudly as he buried his face in his hands. He didn't mean to come across as a jerk, but it's like he had been programmed this way. Being an ass, was his defence mechanism to everything. He didn't know what came over him. He had been this way his entire life and didn't know how to behave any differently.

[1 week later. Nathan is back at the hospital, this time, ready to talk to Haley]

Nathan's bruises were healing up nicely, although his busted lip was still purple and scars were pretty visible. However, none of that bothered him as he wore his red polo shirt. See the thing about that shirt was, was that he had worn it the same night he got Haley pregnant. He thought that if he scored the first time, it would help him out this time too. He graced, grey Nike sweatpants as he smelt of fresh cologne. He cleaned up well. Nathan held onto a bouquet of flowers which he brought, he had a couple of get well soon balloons and a teddy bear, ready to gift to Haley. Nerves swept over him as he walked his way towards her room. He wiped his sweaty forehead before knocking on the door.

"Come in, that was his queue. He opened the door as he walked into the room.

Haley was pleasantly surprised to see him. She slowly positioned herself in an upwards sitting position as she was greeted by his smiling face.

"Uh, hey", he said nervously

"Hi"

"So, I- I uh got you these", he said as he placed the gifts next to her bedside.

"Thanks," she said as she held onto the teddy. She noticed the bruises on his face, she wanted to ask him what happened, but she was too nervous.

For a good few minutes, there was just silence in the room as the two of them tried to find some common ground between them…as if having a baby hadn't already done it.

"I really want to see him," she said finally breaking the silence.

"I want to hold him and kiss him. I really really want that" she pleads

"I got a picture on my phone if you want?" he compromised

"No. I want the real thing. I want to see him" she cried

Nathan didn't know how to respond to her request, his mind was jumbled. His heart was beating out of his chest.

"Look, the nurses go on their lunch break in about 5 minutes. Usually, the hallway is clear. I want you to put me in that wheelchair and wheel me to the NICU. Only for a few minutes. I need to see him. Please" she begged

Nathan couldn't say no to her desperate request. But at the same time, he was worried about her health. She just had major surgery, not to long ago.

"I would take you, but you just had surgery like a week ago. You're not in the best condition right now. Maybe when you're feeling better" he suggested.

"You don't get it do you. You think I like sitting here in this hospital bed everyday. Waking up to the depressing sounds of nurses and doctors, crying babies and dying people. You think it's fun for me just to lay here and wait to get better. Not knowing how my son is. What he looks like? If he's okay. I can't take it anymore. Damnit it, Nathan, if you're not gonna take me I'm gonna take myself."

She yelled as she painfully got herself out of the bed. She held onto her stomach as pain encapsulated her body. She let out a cry as she almost fell out of the bed, tripping over her IV. Nathan jumped to her rescue, grabbing her and stopping her from falling. Their eyes locked as he held onto her tightly. It almost took them back to the night they became one. Nathan looked deep into her eyes as he remembered the night he played a foul game. The night he took advantage of this innocent girl. Guilt crept over him as his broke the eye contact, not able to replay those moments in his mind. He gently helped her back into bed, refraining from making any form of eye contact with her. It was too painful.

She held onto his arm as she placed her hand on his face. Stroking his face gently she said

"Please take me to see my son. Please".

Nathan rolled his head backwards as he shook it in disapproval.

"No! I just saved you from what could have been a disaster okay. I can't take you. I won't take you. I-I…" he stopped

"You saved me? Aren't you the one who put me in this disaster in the first place huh? So don't tell me you saved me, Nathan. I'm asking you one thing. Let me see my son" she urged.

And with that, he was trapped. He was guilt ridden. He sighed miserably as he caved to her request.

"Alright fine, I'll take you. But let me tell you. I'm not taking any responsibility if anything happens to you. Not this time" he protested.

A smile broke on her face as he gently helped her out of bed and into a wheelchair. With one hand he held onto the handles of the chair and with the other he held onto her IV. He nervously wheeled her through the corridor and to the NICU.

"What's his name anyway?" Nathan questioned as he stopped in front of the NICU.

"I really liked the name Noah, but now not so much. You know, my father's really been strong for me throughout all of this. He's been so supportive, loving and caring. He's the strongest man I know. His name is James. So I was thinking James?" she asked

"James?" He nodded

"That's a cool name," he said

"Yeah, you think so? And I think we'll call him Jamie" she smiled

"And what about a middle name?" he asked

"Well, I always said if I ever have kids their middle names would either be Brooke If it's a girl and Lucas if it's a boy. So Lucas!" she beamed

He rolled his eyes. Ugh, Lucas. He hated that guy. His son would be named after…well not named after but have Lucas in his name. He shuddered at the thought. But whatever, it wasn't his call.

"Lucas it is," he said as he showed a fake yet convincing smile.

Nathan wheeled Haley into the NICU and to their son's incubator. He had gotten a lot bigger since the last time he saw him. As he was busy observing his son he didn't even notice Haley trying to get herself out of the wheelchair…

Suddenly she lost her balance as she collapsed to the floor. She felt the pain as strong as one hundred daggers sinking into her stomach. Groaning and screaming with anguish, she writhed about on the floor, clutching her body. Her eyes were watery with the sheer pain and her breathing came out in sharp, shallow rasps. Sweat dripped down the side of her face and covered her forehead in a thin sheen. Blood spilled from her abdomen as her surgery scar had opened up due to the impact of the fall.

"H-help," she croaked, her desperate tone made her words almost inaudible, but they still echoed around the eerie, room.

 ** _"_** ** _Now you were fine by night but when the morning light comes comfortable as rain on Sunday. And I'm a lucky soul that holds your hand so tight hope you hear this one day don't fool yourself. This is my truth. You take this hand. You take this heart. Steal my bones from 1000 miles apart. Feels so cold felt just like it's ten shades of winter and I need the sun"_**


	5. Livin Louder

**Livin Louder**

 **"** **If today's the day I die, lay me down under the lights. Let me fall in love. Let me save a life and let me lose my voice. Singing all my favourite songs. Let me stare up at the stars cause it's where we all belong"**

Nathan hurriedly jumped to Haley's aid. His eyes widened as he held her in his arms. He gently moved her hair away from her eyes as he caressed her face and rested it on his chest.

"You're okay. You're gonna be okay" he whispered as he looked around, not seeing anyone in sight to offer medical help

"Nurse! Nurse! Somebody help!", he cried.

A nurse came running to him as she helped up Haley and put her back in the wheelchair. She assessed her wound and wheeled her back to her room, where she re-stitched her surgery scar up.

"Honey, you gotta me more careful. And besides who let you outside this room anyway. You're not in any condition to be roaming the hospital halls", huffed the nurse.

Haley just sighed as she looked out the window. Not knowing when she would heal and be able to escape this prison of a room. Anger and frustration built up inside of her…

"I hate it here. I hate this stupid room. I hate this stupid hospital. I hate how I can't fucking see my son. How he's just laying there all fucking hopeless. I hate how I'm feeling so miserable." She wept.

Nathan walked over towards her and sat by her bedside, he wrapped his arm around her waist as he squeezed her tightly, embracing her in his body. Her head fell against his chest as tears were flowing out of her sore red eyes. He rubbed her arm with his hands as he caressed her body gently. Haley placed her hand on his chest as she was met with a tender kiss on her forehead. It was the first time, in a long time she had felt so right, so warm and loved. Nathan's head was buried in Haley's golden blonde locks. Haley's tears stopped as she gazed into Nathan's crystal blue eyes. The nurse looked over at the beautiful sight and smiled.

"You two are gonna be just fine. And by the way, ya'll make an adorable couple" she approved.

Nathan immediately broke out of the tight embrace, he jumped to his feet and stood up staring at the nurse.

"We're NOT a couple" he fretted.

Haley's smile was immediately turned into a broken pit of emptiness.

"Oh…could have fooled me" argued the nurse as she raised her eyebrows and left.

Nathan shook his head in disapproval of the Nurse's words. Couple? Couple? Just because they slept together that does NOT mean they were a couple. What kind of crack was this nurse on? Yeah, they have a baby together, so what. Nathan bit his lip as he turned to see Haley. Tears were once again uncontrobally rolling down her cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" he questioned, growing worried.

He was met with a hostile silence. Nathan sat next to Haley's bedside as he grabbed a tissue out from the tissue box and attempted to wipe her tears.

"GET OFF OF ME" she shrieked, pushing him off of her.

Nathan couldn't understand what was wrong. His eyes scanned her face for answers, he was met with nothing but more confusion. Why on earth was she so pissed at him? Why was she—oh. Oh. The couple thing. He said they weren't a couple, he thought. Well, they weren't a couple? He was just stating the obvious, what was the big deal?

"Are you upset because I said we weren't a couple?" he sighed

Haley looked up and shook her head at his bitter words.

"You seemed so damn offended just by the idea of being with me. You jumped up real quick and looked disgusted that she even mentioned such a thing. How dare she!", she yelled.

"I don't get it? What's the big deal? Are we not a couple? I wasn't saying it to be horrible or anything. I'm sorry if it came across that way. I didn't mean—" he was cut off

"Don't bother apologising to me. Just leave. Just forget it. Don't bother coming to see me or this baby. You freaked out just by the idea of being with me, and since our son is 50% me you must hate him also. So just forget we ever existed and you can just move on with your life"

"You're saying it like I hate you? I don't hate you Haley, and I don't hate the idea of being with you. I don't even know our son that well and already I love him more than I've ever been able to love anybody in my whole entire life. He's filled a void in my heart that I never even knew I had. Haley, I'm sorry if I came across as defensive when the nurse said we were a couple. I only said that because I'm scared."

"Scared of what?

"Scared of being with you. Scared of hurting you again, like I did before. You don't deserve me, Haley. You deserve so much better than me."

"What changed? You didn't feel like this before?"

"When I saw you bleeding out in the school hallway, when I saw you in so much agony in the waiting room. After they cut you open and when I delivered our baby and cut his umbilical cord. When I held Jamie in my arms for the first time, I felt like I was whole again. For the first time in my whole life, I felt at peace you know. Like, I was missing something and suddenly it felt okay… I don't know how to do this whole good-guy thing. I just wanna be somebody who's good enough to be seen with you, Haley. And until I'm not that guy, I WILL get offended when people say were a couple. I WILL grow disgusted by it because you don't deserve me like this. You deserve me when I'm actually somebody who's worthy enough of being with you. I don't know. I suck at expressing my feeling. I'm sorry"

"I think you're better at expressing your feelings than you think", Haley said as she broke out into a small smile.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

 ** _See now that's what Nathan should have said to Haley…he should have told her all of this that was on his mind. But he didn't. Instead this is what really went down…_**

"Why are you crying?" he asked

He was met with a hostile silence. He tried walking towards her bedside.

"GET OFF OF ME" she shrieked, pushing him off of her.

"Haley?" he yelled

"GET OFF OF ME!" her voice grew louder

"Quiet down! People are gonna hear you!" he screamed

"GOOD! LET THE WORLD HEAR THAT NATHAN SCOTT IS AN ASS-HOLE." She exploded as her bitter words, cut Nathan like a knife.

"Haley, I'm really trying to be a good person here. But sometimes, for you, it just isn't enough," he yelled back, as his anger began to grow. It was as if each word she said, was like a seed being planted in his brain, ready to erupt at any moment.

"You're nothing but a God Damn son of a bitch" she screeched.

Tears were rolling uncontrollably down her cheeks. Her eyes were bloodshot red.

"Of course, expect ME to believe, even for a second that you've changed. That you're a good person. You can never change" she argued

"You need to chill. Please. Haley. Please" he screamed

He attempted to walk towards her bedside again.

"DON'T COME NEAR ME. YOU HEAR ME. DON'T COME NEAR ME"

"Seriously! Calm the hell down. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for the way this looks."

"YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH"

Nathan grew angry at Haley's outburst, he grew tense as she was not looking to calm down anytime soon. A moment of weakness came over him as he charged towards her. He violently slapped his hand on top of her mouth, he pressed his hand against her lip as he looked her deep in the eyes.

"Please, calm down. It's not good for you, not in your condition to be screaming at me like this. You need time to heal Haley. Your body needs to relax, not stress. Please, I beg of you. Calm down"

The door opened, and in walked Haley's parents along with Brooke and Lucas. They saw enough of the drama. Haley placed her hand on top of his and pushed it off of her. Lucas charged at Nathan pinning him violently against the wall…

 ** _"_** ** _And all I know is: No one, no one lives forever we will be remembered for what we do right now. 'Cause we're all just kids who grew up way too fast. Yeah the good die young, but the great will always last, we're growing older…But we're all soldiers tonight…cause no one lives forever"_**


	6. Perfect

**Perfect**

 **A/N:** _Thank you guy's so much for ALL the love and support with this fic, it really means a lot. I love reading all your reviews, so thank you so much. I would be eternally grateful if you guys could_ _ **check out another**_ _new Naley fic I_ _ **just started**_ _called_ _ **"Dangerous Territory".**_ _I would_ _ **love to hear**_ _what you guys think of that also. Thank you again for everything. I PROMISE it will get better for Naley, look forward to some cute scenes coming up with Naley and baby Jamie!_

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise. I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize. It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie. And as long as I can feel you holding on. I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong."_**

* * *

As Lucas viciously pinned Nathan against the wall, Haley screamed out.

"Stop it! Leave him alone. It's not his fault" she cried

"Haley? Are you crazy?" responded Lucas as he held tightly onto Nathan's shirt collar.

"Leave him, please. He doesn't know any better.", she said as she looked into Nathan's eyes.

She could sense his pain, his confusion, and his hurt. He was so accustomed to being a bad boy his whole life, treating girls like crap, getting his own way, that's the only life he knew. She was once told by her grandmother that there is goodness inside everyone, no matter how bad they seem on the outside. We just have to help them find it, and that if we looked them dead in the eyes we could see deep into the pits of their soul. Suddenly she felt that come over her, she felt as though she had acted in haste when she got upset at him for telling the nurse they weren't a couple. She realised her mistake, that she hadn't given him a chance, and that he had only been a perfect gentleman up till that moment of his weakness. As scared as she was, he was twice as scared, as worried as she was he was probably more worried…

"No, I'm serious. Leave him alone. It's my fault. I instigated him. Nathan, I'm sorry" she pleaded.

Lucas let go of him as he shook his head in disapproval.

"Haley, is this some kind of joke?" he yelled.

"Luke, leave him be. He's doing the best he can. He didn't do anything wrong" she insisted.

"Pumpkin, you've been through a lot. You're obviously not thinking clearly", said her father.

"Dad, I named my son after you. You know why? Because you're the strongest, most forgiving person I know. A quality I want to see in my son. A quality you so effortlessly show off. You, out of everybody should understand forgiveness. He made a mistake. Leave him alone", she argued.

Nathan stood there in shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. How? How so easily was she forgiving him already. A moment ago she was yelling at him, calling him all sorts. What game was she playing? He thought was it because her parents were here, and she didn't want a scene? Was it because she genuinely felt bad for him? His mind was jumbled into a thousand different pieces, trying to put two and two together. He looked over at Haley, she was laying there looking deep into his eyes, as though she herself was trying to understand this messy situation. This was beyond him.

"Haley, I'm just gonna leave. I'm sorry to all of you", said a sorrowful Nathan as he began to leave.

"No, wait", cried Haley behind him

Nathan turned around, in confusion.

"Stay. Please stay. I would like it better if you stay here with me", she smiled

Nathan looked around the room and saw the bitter faces of her loved ones, her father, and mother eyeing him up and down in disgust. As though he was the worst person on the face of the planet. He saw Lucas standing there, shaking his head in anger and frustration. It was only Brooke who seemed to be okay with it. It was as if Brooke understood Nathan and Haley's unspoken connection.

"Haley, I'm clearly not wanted here", he fretted.

"Well, I don't care about anyone else. I want you here", she insisted.

Was this a dream? Was she seriously saying these words? Did she seriously want him here, after all, that? Nothing made sense to him anymore. He sighed as he walked towards her bedside and knelt down. He looked into her eyes and felt some type of love for her, some connection. His eye's welled up. The hot, salty tears started flooding his cheeks and dripping off his chin. He didn't know what came over him. Was it because he hadn't had a proper night's sleep since this whole situation began? He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but all that came out were deep, gut-wrenching sobs that tore through his chest and convulsed his body. He sat down fast, shaking and gasping.

"I can't do this," he choked, rocking and back and forth.

"People...kids at school, they ask questions. And then everyone keeps telling me to-"

"Shhh," Haley whispered.

"They tell me I'm an ass-hole, that I deserve to be punished in the darkest and deepest pits of hell. I'm only human. I caused you this pain Haley. Everyone here knows it. Why don't you know it? Why are you letting me stay here with you? I'm an asshole. I don't know how to do this"

Nathan drew in a deep enough breath to say, "I don't deserve you!" Coughing and gasping and crying, he couldn't stop, not even when he felt Haley's arms across his shoulders.

The room suddenly was filled with a different type of vibe, a different type of emotion. Nobody could understand who _this_ Nathan was. Never, _never_ had they seen the once so proud lion like Nathan Scott so vulnerable. He was just a misunderstood kid. He _needed_ guidance, he needed to be set in the right direction. His father had always taught him how to be this proud, arrogant like figure. How to always get his way no matter what, his father made treating people like crap seem almost okay. Haley's dad suddenly felt a change of heart, a sense of remorse and regret come over him as he saw this _human_ side to Nathan. As he saw Nathan clamber onto Haley, he knew this kid was just lost. He was just a mess of crazed teenage boy hormones and feelings he couldn't understand himself. Jimmy put his hand on his chin as he stroked his stubble, feeling his eyes well up at the impassioned scene.

His face showed distress and as he closed his eyes, drops slowly ran down his face. He had wiped them so much they were red and swollen. When he went to look around, his vision was blurry; it was difficult for him to see clearly. He felt two soft hands pressed against his cheeks, it was Haley. She slowly moved her face towards his, making their foreheads touch. She wrapped her arms around his head as she let him cry, let him break down these walls he had kept up for so long. He was only human.

"It's okay. We're okay" she whispered as she opened her eyes.

Nathan calmly opened his eyes as he saw Haley clearly for the first time. His eyes, although bloodshot red, he squinted and saw her forgiving nature. The blank, emotionless expression swept over his face as the realization of the moment gradually seeped in. The fear seemed to rise behind his eyes. Like a caged animal, he stood there. Paralyzed by the tragic feeling of isolation, he closed his eyes and gazed into fields of nothingness. He felt the water creep out of his eyes, and he gently whispered: "I'm so sorry".

"Oh, come on!" yelled Lucas as the tension broke in the room.

"You're all seriously believing this crap. He sheds a few tears and suddenly everyone forgets how much of an ass he is? What kind of games are you playing Nathan?" he said in revolt

"He's just a misunderstood kid, son." Interrupted Jimmy

"His father was Dan fricking Scott for crying out loud. And boy, let me tell you. That Danny boy isn't exactly a walk in the park"

"Oh yes, I went to school with him. Horrible, horrible person. Arrogant rude, and incredibly disrespectful" added her mother Lydia.

"So what? We're blaming DAN now for getting Haley pregnant?" argued Lucas

"Lucas, son. Listen to me, you count your blessings, you count them real good. You willed for a father for so long in your life. You resented Dan Scott for leaving your mother, and choosing Deb over her. Count yourself as the lucky one. Nathan is trying, I should not have come down on him so hard. I acted without thinking, I'm sorry Nathan. I was just looking out for my baby girl. Sometimes we forget, that not everybody has the same heart as we do. We're all different people, just fighting our own battles to make it through the day." he said in grimace.

Lucas stood there dumbfounded, not knowing what to say. He was furious, furious how by just a few tears suddenly all was forgiven? If this were him, if he had done this, he would not have been forgiven so easily. But no, leave it to Nathan Scott to be an asshole and treat Haley like shit but still be forgiven within a matter of seconds. The James' family were good people, they were God's people. The kind of people who see a beggar on the street and invite them in for dinner. The kind of people that cry and feel other people's pain as if it were their own. He felt annoyed that just like that Nathan had conned them into believing he was a better person.

"Pathetic. All of you. Haley, I sat there with you for hours on end, when you found out you were pregnant with Nathan's child. I drove you back and forth to doctors appointments. I brought you ice-cream at 4am. I wiped your tears, I made you laugh, I offered you a shoulder to cry on. I was there for you when he wasn't. Instead, he treated you like a pile of shit and didn't want anything to do with you or this baby. Now suddenly he cries a little and you forgive him? What is this Haley? Mr. James? What is this?" he winced.

"Luke, I know you don't get this. I know you don't understand. And let me tell you, I'm always gonna be eternally grateful to you for that. But, Nathan is here now. He's trying. I can see it, I can see he want's to be a better person. Everybody deserves that chance. I didn't realise it before, I came down on him so hard for no reason. I acted in haste, and it was wrong of me. Like my dad said we're all gonna end up real disappointed if we chose to believe everyone has the same heart as we do. I was tired, I felt sick, I was angry. I acted stupidly and selfishly. I know that. I know the difference between being right and wrong, but in the moment of it all, I forgot that. I was blinded by my anger. Nathan doesn't see the way I do, Luke. He doesn't know how to be the good guy I know he will be someday. You gotta give him a chance." She pleaded.

Lucas shook his head as he couldn't come to terms with this messy situation. He felt anger and frustration come over him. He wanted to beat the daylights out of Nathan so bad, he wanted to turn his already bruised face black and blue. But it was no use. Haley was probably right, it's so easy to become blinded by anger and not see right and wrong. None of this made sense to him.

"It's better if I go, hales. I'll see you", he nodded as he walked off. Before leaving the room he walked over to Nathan and placed a firm grip on his shoulder

"Don't fuck this up" he threatened. Lucas then left the room.

"We better get going too, sweetheart. We're getting something really special ready for you, for when you come home" excitedly explained her mother.

Her parents kissed her on the cheek, gave her a tight hug and left.

Brooke stood there, she mostly stood in silence watching the events fold before her. She didn't really know how to feel about the situation. She had had bad parents too, so she was all for second chances. Somewhere she hoped Nathan wouldn't screw this up and things would work out between "Naley". It was a long road to recovery, but if she knew Haley, should help Nathan pull through and become this amazing guy.

"Nathan, Haley believes in you. And so do I", she smiled.

"You do?" he looked stunned.

"Yeah, Haley has always taught me to find the best in people. So somewhere underneath all that Mr. Big shot, arrogant ass hole, jackass, rude, annoying, pathetic, disgusting, man-whore, playboy…." She was cut off…

"Yeah we get it", Nathan laughed.

"Uh yeah, underneath all that you're a good guy. And have the potential to be a really great guy. But you really gotta do something about that anger of yours kid" she explained.

"I know. I will", she seemed serious.

"Well, I'll leave you two…I don't know what to call you exactly. I mean if I say a couple I don't want Nathan peeing his pants again. And you guy's aren't married either…so I'm just gonna say you two drunkards who slept together and had a baby together and are working it out.." she laughed as she headed for the door.

As Brooke opened the door in walked the nurse, looking deeply concerned.

"Nurse Tanner? What's the matter?", asked a worried Nathan

"It's Jamie" she bit her lip as Nathan and Haley's heart's stopped in shock.

"It's bad. It's really bad" she cried.

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _I'm not perfect but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start. I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave. Was it something I said or just my personality? Making every kind of silence, It takes a lot to realize, it's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie. And as long as I can feel you holding on. I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong. I know that I'm not perfect but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start. I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave. Was it something I said or just my personality?"_**


	7. All your attention

**All your attention**

 **A/N:** _Hey guys! Gosh, I'm so sorry I haven't updated in quite a while. Blame finals…meh. College sucks… Exams are almost over! I was taking a break from revising so decided to write. Can't wait for summer! Exams are killing me. Anyway, just wanted to say thank you again for all the positive feedback for my last chapter. It really means a lot. This chapter is a kinda heart-breaking, and a real tear jerker but has cute moments between Naley! So enjoy!_

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _Don't want you looking at the stars tonight, I just want your eyes on me. I wanna be the only thing on your mind. I'll be all you need. Don't want you talking on the phone, don't go out I just want you here with me. Don't want you spending time alone. Stay around, I'll be all you need"_**

* * *

Nathan and Haley grew worried at the nurse's frantic outburst about their son.

"What? What is it?", Nathan cried

The nurse took a deep breath. She gulped as she broke the news.

"See, he was born early. The earlier a baby is born, the greater the risk of bleeding in the brain, it's known as an intraventricular haemorrhage. Most haemorrhages are mild and resolve with little short-term impact. But some babies may have larger brain bleeding which may cause permanent brain injury. Which is what little Jamie has. Larger brain bleeds may lead to fluid accumulation in the brain which is known as hydrocephalus over a number of weeks. He will require an operation to relieve the fluid accumulation."

Both Nathan and Haley stared at the Nurse in horror. Haley's hands trembled as she tried to make some sense of this tragic news. Her heart was racing wildly and she felt breathless. She could not understand a word of the nurse's careful explanation of Jamie's condition. " _How could it be that his condition has taken a turn for the worst?"_ The question screamed in her head. With tears pouring down her cheeks, she begged the nurse to find a solution to reverse this horrendous affliction. Nathan looked on as Haley blabbered on, trying to find some comfort in knowing Jamie was going to be okay.

Nathan wasn't used to this much mess in his life. His life had been pretty simple. School, playing basketball and being a bad-boy. That was it. Now being the bearer of bad news was such a terrible thing. He didn't know if he would have the words, the delicacy, the strength.

"The operation has many risks associated with it. Dr. Foster will be here in a bit to explain everything to you. I'm so sorry" the nurse frowned

"This is all my fault", Haley cried as she buried her hands in her face

"What! No! No! This is NOT your fault Haley. You don't get to blame yourself for this. He was born premature, it's what happens. You can blame the world, but please. Don't blame yourself", Nathan said as he wrapped his arm around Haley's shoulder and brought her into his body, as she laid on his chest.

"Nathan's right, Hales. This isn't your fault at all. Listen, Jamie's gonna be alright. He will.", assured Brooke as she looked at the nurse in search for some hopeful words.

The nurse looked away as she didn't want to fill them with false hope, she knew how bad this could get. The survival rate was so low. A baby this small, and an operation so big. She'd been working at the hospital for over 25 years and maybe 2 babies survived this operation. She did not want to give them hope, because she knew that hope would be taken away from them within seconds.

"The doctor is coming", she said as she held her own. Not letting her tears fall, she walked outside.

Brooke shook her head as she bit tightly onto her lip. Tears crept up behind her eyes, like prisoners wanting to escape. She braced herself, not wanting to let herself break down and cry in front of them. She wanted to be strong and to keep reassuring them that everything was going to be okay. She opened her mouth, ready to fill them up with hope, with strength, with courage, but no words came out. It was as if she had been muted. It was too painful.

"I haven't even met him yet. Not properly anyway. I haven't even held him in my arms and told him that I loved him", Haley sobbed as she clung onto Nathans shirt.

Nathan put his hand on her head and gently stroked her hair, as he kissed it gently. Tears were banging at the back of his eyes too, but he had to be strong for Haley. He could not let his guard down now and be weak anymore.

"You will get to hold him. I promise you. And he already knows how much you love him, he already knows he's been blessed with the best mum in the world",

"Nathan. I can't- I can't…loose him. I can't. He's all I have", she choked.

Nathan held onto her tightly as he grabbed onto her hand and squeezed it tightly as she wept and wept.

"He's not going anywhere. He's gonna be okay. You're gonna hold him, and he's gonna look you in your eyes, and you're gonna fall in love. He's gonna smile at you and let you know that you're the best thing that's ever happened to him. He's gonna grasp so tightly onto your finger with this whole hand for the life of him. He's gonna lay on your chest as you squeeze him tightly in your arms as if you and he were one. Against the world. He's gonna make it. I just know it", assured Nathan.

He was primarily trying to find hope himself, in his own words. They lay silently, hunched over and with a sense of loss so powerful that their muscles wouldn't respond to commands. Their gazes were into the far distance, unseeing but fixed on some imaginary future of a possible life without their son.

Haley felt a tightening of her throat and a short intake of breath forecast the explosion of emotion which to date, she had managed to keep buried deep inside. Not anymore though, that image of things shared with a love which were not to come, was too powerful and gut wrenching to be kept in check; the tearing at her soul was too compelling and energetic to be contained. The vision she had, began to swim in front of her as tears welled from deep inside and coursed down her cheeks.

All the pent-up hysteria and dread of loss was let loose in a paroxysm of choking and sobbing, so powerful in its intensity that it shook her body till she could barely breathe.

The doctor walked into the room, showing no emotion whatsoever. No happiness, no sadness, no hope, no nothing.

"Nurse Tanner told you all the news I presume" he began.

Haley was still. Motionless, her tears had stopped. She just felt pain over her body. Not knowing what more news he was going to bring.

"Uh, Yeah she did", responded Nathan

"Jamie has a lot of fluid in his brain. Now the fluid had built up to the point that there is concern about pressure on the brain, a spinal tap can be done to drain fluid and try to relieve pressure. If this helps, then surgery is needed to place a tube (shunt) in the brain to drain fluid. I think right now that's our best bet. We need to act on it ASAP, to give him the best possible survival chances", the doctor explained.

"What are the survival chances?", asked Nathan

"Well. They're about 35 to maybe 45%, depending on how the spinal tap goes. How he responds to the treatment"

"What if we choose against the surgery?" argued Nathan

"He won't make it. I'm sorry to say. But surgery right now is literally your only option"

"We want the surgery. Do it. Please do it and save my babies life. Please", cried Haley as she held tightly onto Nathans' hand.

"Things rarely go exactly as we expect, but in the long run, they work out well for those who love God. His plan is higher than ours. He will be okay. I believe that. I know that" said Brooke.

Haley looked at Brooke. Her eyes were hard, but she'd let no tears fall.

"We pray Brooke", her voice very soft.

"All right. We put grief aside for now," said Brooke.

Nathan sat eye-level next to Haley. He wiped her tears and placed his forehead against hers. He gave that quirky smile, that one he knew that she had loved from a long time ago; it gave her the feeling as if he knew something that she didn't. Caressing her supple cheek, he lifted her chin; their noses almost touching. She could feel the warmth of his breath brushing the top of her lip.

She stared back into his hardened blue eyes and moved up the last half inch so their lips could touch. Softly. Lovingly. They breathed their souls and their undying love for each other in that kiss. That kiss; hard, but soft; fiery but cool; a split second but also forever. In that one kiss, she then knew what was behind that quirky smile, and it made her love for him grow even more.

He put his arms around her waist. Pulling her slowly closer towards himself. The kiss was Fiery yet passionate, it was filled with our hunger for each other but it was also filled with love and pain. It was hope. Even though they have kissed before it seemed like the first. It felt as if the whole world cheered for them. As if fireworks and explosions went off behind them. As if all eyes were on them. Even if they felt all these emotions. They didn't care.

Flashbacks attacked her eyes with every blink. Remembering their first time together. After every fight and laugh, after every moment they had spent together in this hospital, she grabbed tightly onto his shirt, she deepened the gap between their lips with one swift movement. There was no longer a need to be subtle.

They both quickly realised what was happening, easing out of the kiss they sat they're almost breathless. As if for that brief moment they were transported to a different dimension. Nathan placed his arm around her back and rubbed it looking deeper into her eyes.

"He will be okay", he said confidently as though that kiss had given him a new outlook. A new hopeful perspective.

Brooke fanned herself with her hands as she jokingly teased them

"God! God! OH MY GOD. It is so HOT in here. Doc? Did someone bring the sun in here? Lord. I'm burning." She joked as she looked at Nathan and Haley.

There was always something about these two. They were from worlds apart. But something always brought them together as if they were meant to be. She loved that, that despite it all. They somehow, in this messed up the world they still managed to find each other

The doctor awkwardly smiled as he explained the rest of the procedure. He then left. Jamie's surgery was scheduled for the next day.

* * *

The next day came and along with the help of the nurse, Nathan and Haley got to see their son Jamie before his big surgery. Haley sat in her wheelchair as she looked over at Jamie in the incubator. She wanted to cry, she wanted to weep her heart out. But she didn't. Nathan sat beside her holding tightly onto her hand, gently rubbing it in assurance.

Haley placed her hand inside the little hole of the incubator and gently held onto Jamie's tiny hand.

"Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there's no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic. That's all I have now Jame. This hope, that you're gonna go in there and fight like the soldier I know you are. And then you're gonna come right back out and you're gonna get better and mummy and daddy are gonna hold you forever in our arms okay? We're gonna love you and love you so much. Ain't no women ever gonna be good enough for you to take my place. I'm gonna spoil you so much and love you like no one has ever loved before. But first, you gotta do something for me. You gotta stay here with us okay? You gotta fight for us." She said as tears began to form in her eyes

"You hear that little man?", continued Nathan

"You gotta fight like a Scott man. That's what us Scott men do. We fight and survive. It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of his blessings, he will hear our prayers. And listen bud, I know that he's gonna help us. Help you. I can't wait for you to wear a little Ravens basketball uniform, and shoot your first basket. I can't wait to hear you say your first words and take your first steps. When I come home from a long day of school, and you run into my arms screaming daddy. Bud, I want all that. So you gotta be okay. For me and for this beautiful women right here." He said as he looked at Haley whose tears were already flowing.

Nathan wiped her tears as he held onto her hand tightly. She looked him deep in the eyes and felt a lump in her throat. He leaned forwards and was about to kiss her on her forehead. As he tried to do so, she leaned back and lifted her face upwards. He stared down at her lips as they craved his attention. A kiss of hope. The kiss of life. She stared deep into his eyes, suddenly seeing the future she really wanted.

He reached for her hand brushing the strand of hair off her cheek as it slid ever so lightly past her ear, his thumb rubbing softly caressing her earlobe, his fingers supporting the back of her head as he leaned in and firmly yet seductively. He placed their lips together, he could feel her quickly inhale pulling the air from his own lungs are moist with desire, he pulled her body closer and embraced her holding her tightly against him feeling the race of our hearts as one.

"It's time for his surgery now" came a voice from behind as Nathan and Haley pulled out of the kiss…

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _Can't you see you hold my heart in your hands. You own me, you own me, I need you to survive. I know I'm alive when you hold me. Hold me. Don't want to share you with the stars in the night, I only want you to only want me now, then and forever. I'm even jealous of the sun in your eyes I want you looking at me, only me I want all your attention"_**


	8. A Little's enough

**A little's enough**

 **A/N:** YAASSS! Lol, finals are finally over, thank the Lord. Anyway guys, thank you again for such positive feedback on the last chapter. I love reading all your comments, and views I honestly appreciate it so much. So this chapter is kinda sad…But it's Naley-heavy, through all their heartache and pain they find some common ground. A mix of emotions. Enjoy :)

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _When all is said and done will we still feel pain inside? Will the scars go away with night? Try to smile for the morning light it's like the best dream to have where everything is not so bad. Every tear is so alone like God himself is coming home to say"_**

* * *

Nathan and Haley looked on as the nurse made her way towards them. They knew what was coming, and they were scared to death. Both of them had never felt pain like this before, it was a new kind of aching pain which was slowly washing over them. They needed Jamie to be okay, for the life of them they needed their son to survive this surgery. The thought of losing him was embedded in their minds as miserable wrecking thoughts swirled around their heads like a hurricane of some sort.

"You both can wait in the family waiting room. It's just down the hall, and to the left", explained the Nurse.

"How long will this surgery be?", asked Nathan

"It should be 3 hours, but it can go on longer if complications arise. But you must be strong. Dr. Grant knows what he's doing. Just have faith", she smiled reassuringly

Nathan and Haley sighed deeply. Haley placed her hand within the incubator one last time before Jamie's surgery. As a tear rolled down her cheek she gently rubbed her finger over his minuscule hand. As Haley did this, it was as if a miracle was occurring before their very eyes. Jamie squeezed onto Haley's finger with his hand.

"OMG! He's squeezing my hand. My baby is squeezing my hand", she cried

"That's my boy. I can't believe it", answered Nathan as he placed his hand on Haley's shoulder.

Within a few seconds, Jamie lets go. The moment passed, it disappeared like a cheap magician's trick. What a bittersweet memory.

"It's beautiful. It really is", smiled the nurse.

"Jamie Scott. Now you listen to me, you fight like a Scott in that Operating room okay? Do you know what fighting like a Scott means? It means with every punch, with every blow, you duck, you cover, you protect your own and you fight back. You hear me, son? You fight like the champion I know you were born to be. For me and your beautiful mama here okay?", pleaded Nathan as he put his hand on top of the incubator.

"Down the hall and to the left", repeated the nurse as she motioned Nathan and Haley to say their goodbyes and leave.

* * *

 ** _1:30pm in the waiting room._**

Almost an hour had passed since Jamie's operation had begun. Nathan and Haley both nervously watched the clock. It was like they were stuck in a loop of time, minutes turning into hours, hours into what felt like days.

"Nathan, I wanna go to the chapel. I want to light a candle for Jamie", she whimpered.

"That sound's like a great idea", he said as he wheeled her towards the chapel.

As they walked into the chapel they saw a number of people sitting there, all lost in their own desperate pleas to God. Some were crying, some were still and motionless, others just begging for the life of them.

"How can I help?", asked a man

"We want to light a candle for our son Jamie. He's in surgery?", explained Nathan

"What's his full name, may I ask?"

"It's James Lucas Scott"

The man smiled and nodded, he grabbed a lighter and lit a candle for Jamie. He took a pen and wrote

"A prayer for little James Lucas Scott is requested by whoever reads this. Thank you".

He placed the paper next to Jamie's candle as Nathan and Haley sat down. Haley leaned her head up against Nathan. Her mind became a mess of thoughts and pain. Suddenly there was an aura of grey around her. It was a mist that wouldn't rise. A state of depression that she couldn't see herself through.

She felt a terrible weight on her shoulders. It was as if a giant boulder was laid on her and she couldn't straighten up or catch her breath entirely. A single tear rolled down her cheek. She should have been crying, but she was too numb to even think about crying. There was a giant hole in her heart and she knew nothing would ever be the same. She looked like death and she didn't care.

Her eyes were puffy from crying because she couldn't stop crying for the last three days. She was dehydrated and sore. Sobs racked her body, no one should be able to cry that hard. She hadn't even cried that hard when her grandfather had died. Rejected, she wasn't wanted. He had said "I love you" first. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Nathan wrapped his arm around her as he gently kissed her head.

* * *

 ** _3:30pm_**

"He's gonna be okay Hales. You gotta believe that", Nathan assured

"You don't know that. You're not a doctor Nathan!" she argued

"I know I'm not. But you have to keep the faith. You gotta believe in the power of prayer, or something. In hope Haley. You have to believe in hope"

"Oh, Nathan. If hope was real. If hope was real…" she sighed as she shook her head in misery

"Hope is real. When you have lost hope, you have lost everything. And when you think all is lost, when all is dire and bleak, there is always hope."

"Those are all just words Nathan, they don't mean anything. Because of our drunken mistake our son is paying for it. I should have never slept with you in the first place. It's so damn ironic isn't it. The smart girl is stupid yet again. Jamie hasn't even lived yet Nathan. Why is he suffering like this huh? Why? Is he being punished for our reckless behaviour? It's not fair, he doesn't even know a life besides the one within this hospital. He hasn't even opened his eyes yet and seen this world, or us. He hasn't laughed, or cried or been held in our arms yet. What kind of life is that? My baby shouldn't have to go through so much damn fucking pain because his teenage parents couldn't handle their booze. It's not fucking okay". She rambled on.

He saw he plight, her pain. But If there's anything Nathan knew about women, was how to get them to stop talking. He pushed his mouth against hers, his tongue passing between her lips, tasting the forgotten flavours of his lover. Her tongue brushed against his as their eyes closed from the passion that had been so long anticipated.

He couldn't help feeling the adrenaline of his heart when he first took her hand. She felt so protective and secure in his presence, that she hadn't taken much notice of where he was leading her. She couldn't help the blush and the sound of her heart pounding inside her chest, to hide the fact that she was falling head over heals for this guy.

He pulled her in for a hug and leaned down to nuzzle her nose before pressing his lips to her yet again. At first, it was gentle like he was afraid to hurt her, but as soon as she began kissing him back he responded by pushing her back and deepening the kiss.

She felt his tongue run across my bottom lip and she opened my mouth to let their tongues explore each other's mouths. He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her closer, before pulling away from her completely so they could catch a breath.

He looked into her eyes, their heads were the same level. His eyes were the colour of a fresh blue summer's sky. They emphasized on the freshness his appearance gave to his beauty; but under the radiant sunlight shining through the window, they looked almost a fiery sapphire. From the pressure of his hands, she could tell he was as nervous as she was.

"You're really good at that", Haley giggled as she smiled

"Oh yeah?" he playfully asked

* * *

 ** _4:30pm_**

"Look, Haley. Our situation isn't exactly conventional. My life's been pretty much that of what you'd expect of a typical 17-year old. School, basketball, girls, parties and repeat. This whole baby thing and our situation are scary for me. I've never known to love somebody more than myself. I barely even know the little guy and here I am praying to God so desperately for him to be okay. He filled a void in my heart I never even knew I had. It's weird Haley. But I wanna be here for him. For you." His words were cut short

"What about me? What am I to you Nathan?", she sighed as she looked down

"You're more than a friend to me. Maybe a lover, but I don't know. I care for you, I do. And I like you, Haley. I've always found you to be…" he stopped

"To be? To be what?"

"Beautiful. I only invited Lucas to that stupid party because I knew you'd come. I wanted to see you. Out of all those girls I've ever dated, or been with in school, you're not like any of them"

"What are you trying to say, Nathan?"

"I guess, I'm trying to say you're different. You're better. I know I shouldn't have taken advantage of you that night and gotten you drunk. But I'd do it again if I had to." He took a deep breath as Haley looked intently into his eyes.

"How I did it was wrong. But, what we got from that. This beautiful baby boy, I'm not sorry for that. I'm kind of glad that we have Jamie. I know your situation is not ideal, and we still got a billion and one things to figure out yet, but if there's one thing that I do know is..is.."

"Is what?"

"Is that I wanna be somebody who's good enough to be seen with you. I don't wanna be that guy anymore Haley. The jackass, the asshole jock who doesn't give a shit. I wanna be the type of guy that Jamie is proud to call his dad, and…" he stopped and stared at the wall. He didn't know if should continue.

"What is it, Nathan?"

"I don't know. And the type of guy you're proud to call your baby daddy. I guess. I don't know. I care about you an awful lot, and I didn't think I could bring myself to care for somebody else besides me. But I do. I care about you. And I like you"

Haley smiled as she shies away blushing.

"Yeah, you've said the I like you and I care for you bit more than once now", she giggled.

"Oh. Yeah..." he smiled

"I mean it"

"I know you do. I want to give you a chance. I believe everyone has good inside them. When you see the good in someone, you don't give up on them. Especially if they don't see it in themselves".

"That's a beautiful thought. Thank you for not giving up on me", he smiled

Haley placed her hand on his face as she stroked it gently, slowly bringing him in for a gentle kiss. She tenderly kissed his soft lips and pulled away smiling a little more.

* * *

 ** _6:30pm back in the waiting room_**

5 hours had passed and there was still no doctor, no nurse. Nathan and Haley grew frantic as no news had come to them of their son. Minutes afterwards, in walked Dr. Grant. He nervously sat down beside them.

"Look, I'm sorry. But he didn't make it."

"What?" questioned Nathan, as if there were some mistake

"He's gone. I'm so sorry"

"No. No. He's not gone. Wh-what- what are you saying. He. He- he can't be gone." Nathan shouted

"HE CAN'T BE FUCKING GONE", he words echoed throughout the waiting room.

It if the world was being torn to shreds and that everything was falling apart at the seams. They couldn't stand the fact that they'd never see him again and couldn't even be comforted by the fact that he is in a better place. When the doctor tried to console them it just made them angrier. The pain doesn't get easier. Everything around them felt dead, just like him. They nothing but a numbing pain in their heart, their chest felt hollow where their love for him used to be.

No one could console them, they try, God knows they try but all they feel in response is overwhelming anger.

"I'll never see him again. Never.", cried Haley.

Never is a long time to hurt. It will never end. The pain is unbearable, it's as if they'd lost a part of themselves that they never get back, it's gone with him.

Nathan shook his head in disbelief. If hope was real. It was not. He froze in fear and shivered in disbelief. The cold air singing around him, silence eating his surrounding leaving the sight of his loneliness shooting air out of his mouth with each breath he exhaled. The moment he felt a tickle upon his pale ice cold dry cheeks, he rose his thin, long and slender fingers and spotted the target that was dripping slowly. His eyes were screaming for justice with each translucent trickle of emotions.

Haley was numb. The blank, emotionless expression swept over his face as the realization of the moment gradually seeped in. The fear seemed to rise behind his eyes. Like a caged animal, she sat there. Paralyzed by the tragic feeling of isolation, she closed her eyes and gazed into fields of nothingness. She felt the water creep out of her eyes. And then she broke down entirely. Small tiny crystal beads crept out of her eyes, one after another, soon it turned into a flowing stream of sorrow that ran down her face and dripped from her pointed chin into her shirt. She felt shaking. Her body was jolted from left to right…

"Wake up. Haley! Wake up"...

* * *

"Haley! Haley. Wake up. Haley", screamed Nathan as he shook her to try and wake up

Nathan shook Haley awake as she opened her eyes and looked around the room. There was no doctor. No Nathan crying.

"Jamie? Where's Jamie?" she cried

"He's still in the OR"

"He's here? He's alive?"

"Yes. Are you okay?"

Relief. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Fine. Just had a-a bad dream. I'm fine now"

"You sure?"

"Yeah"

As Nathan looked up, he saw Dr. Grant standing by the door.

"Dr. Grant. How is Jamie?" he asked…

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _I, I can do anything if you want me here. And I can fix any thing if you let me near. Where are those secrets now that you're too scared to tell i'd whisper them all aloud so you can hear yourself. Green trees were the first sign the deepest blue, the clearest sky the silence came with the brightest eyes and turned water into wine. The children ran to see the parents stood in disbelief and those who knew braced for the ride the earth itself then came alive to say I, I can do anything if you want me here. And I can fix anything if you let me near"_**


	9. Broken Pieces

**Broken Pieces**

 **A/N:** _Enjoying my summer break. Back to writing, super happy about that and all your reviews which I love reading! So thank you again. So, happy to say this chapter is a happy one :) Yay! Lots of cute Naley and Jamie scenes coming up. But with an interesting twist…tun tun taa…Lol_

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _We all start with the beautiful hope, pride, and love. It's never meant to feel so difficult. Your dreams become your drug I'll give you something to believe in, I'd rather fail than never try. Broken pieces will fall apart. Promises will tear down the trust. Find a reason to give your heart but I'll find a reason for us."_**

* * *

Dr Grant walked in and sat next to Nathan and Haley. Without keeping them in the dark for much longer he broke the tension.

"He's gonna be just fine. The surgery was a success. He is very very lucky. Honestly, I feel like it was a miracle. God's work I tell you. God's work", he smiled

"Oh-My-God", cried Haley as relief washed over her

"Thank you so so much Doc. You don't know how much this means to us", beamed Nathan

Nathan and Haley immersed themselves in pure contentment; the pressure that had crushed their body's just moments before relinquished its vice-like grip, dissolving their fears like fireworks spitting into the cold, crisp air…for now, they were safe.

"He's got a long road to recovery ahead of him, but he's tough. He cleared this first hurdle. I pray, it gets better for you both. At this young age, these shouldn't be your worries. You're 17 years old. You're still kids with a kid. It's not easy." said the doctor.

"Drunken mistake", sighed Nathan

"We've all had those", agreed the Doctor.

* * *

 ** _1 and 1/2 months later, Nathan and Haley finally take Jamie home from the hospital. Haley is fully recovered and so is Jamie…_**

 ** _At Haley's house_**

Nathan opens the door to Haley's room as Haley cradles Jamie in her arms. As he opens the door, they find a beautifully decorated room. Her once teenage girl's room was completely transformed into this nursery, fit for a baby boy. A small crib sat beside her bed, as Nathan and Haley walked into the room.

"I hope you like it pumpkin. We still kept all your old stuff, but made room for Jamie", said her dad as he and her mother entered the room.

"I'm totally surprised; I can't believe you guys did all of this. I love it, thank you" she smiled as she walked over to her bed and sat down with Jamie in her arms.

"Nathan, I don't want to make this awkward for you. But have you and Haley discussed your living arrangements? I mean, how will you look after the baby?", asked her mother, Lydia.

"Uh, actually we haven't really thought about it. Everything happened so fast, we were both just so fixated on Jamie getting better. That's all that really mattered, I guess. We kept saying, we'll think about the rest afterwards. I guess this is the afterwards bit now" he sighed in confusion.

"We'll figure it out maa", replied Haley

"Alright, well. We'll be downstairs If you need us. Don't do anything stupid". Said her mother

"Yeah, right. Like they already haven't done something stupid", mocked her father as they left.

Haley looked at Nathan and knew he was worried. About everything, not just their living arrangement, but also them. What were they? Were they a couple? Weren't they? There was a lot in her mind. To top it all off they also had this baby to think about now, this small tiny human who would require so much attention and time. It was all so overwhelming.

"So? What are we gonna do?" asked Nathan as he broke the silence.

"You wanna talk about it?" she said hesitatingly.

"We gotta figure it out sometime, and can't keep beating around the bush"

"I know. I know"

"Look, I want to stay here. With my parents. I don't want us to get our own place or anything. Only because we're still at school. And my education is really important to me. My parents can take care of the baby when I'm at school, or studying or whatever. We can't exactly handle having jobs, going to school, you having basketball games and practice and then raise a baby, and get a sitter and pay bills and rent and…" Haley was cut off by Nathan

"And be adults?" he sighed

"I know what we did, and what we have is very adult. But, I'm not ready to leave the nest yet. I need my parents Nathan"

"I get that, I never once asked you to leave your parents house. But, look I want to help with the baby. I just don't know how? I live 20 minutes away from your place."

"I would ask you to move in with us, but my parents would be so opposed to it, they may just kick me out for even daring to bring such a thing up. They just about accepted this whole baby and pregnancy situation"

"No, yeah I get that. I want to help, but like I really don't know how it's gonna work"

"Well, whenever you're not at basketball practise, or at school you can be here. With me and Jamie"

"What about at night? When he wakes you up and you're exhausted and need someone to feed him and he won't stop crying? What then?"

Haley paused. She really didn't think about that. It all just seemed to easy. He was right, what was she going to do then. She was only human. She still had school, finals, SATs, extra-curricular, homework. She bit her lip, her eyes were dancing in every corner. It soon became too much; she started pacing rapidly, her breathing and heartbeat beginning to speed and fill her ears with white noise.

She found himself chewing his nails but forced herself to keep his hand down from his mouth. She held onto Jamie, not knowing what the future held. It didn't quite work, as she found himself chewing again a bare minute later, and a cold sweat had broken out between her shoulder blades. She was nervous, alright.

"I honestly don't know?", she whispered

The nervousness was cut short as Jamie let out a deafening cry. His eyes squinted as tears rolled down his tiny little cheeks. He put his hands in little fists as he fought the air. The noise became louder and louder. Haley rocked him back and forth aimlessly, not knowing what was wrong. Panic and anxiety filled her.

"Is it his diaper?" asked Nathan as he sat next to them

"No, it's not," she said as she tried to smell his bottom.

"Maybe he's hungry?"

"Pass me his bottle", asked Haley

Nathan passed over the bottle and Haley tried feeding Jamie. He just fought Haley and refused the bottle as his cries grew louder. Nathan looked at Haley and saw her growing more and more distressed. He kneeled over and took Jamie from her arms. He stood up and placed Jamie gently against his chest, holding tightly onto his head as he swayed gently back and forth with him.

"Hey, hey little man. You got a pretty loud voice for someone so small don't you", Nathan whispered

Within a matter of minutes, Jamie's crying had calmed down and he fell asleep in Nathans' arms.

"You're so good with him, Agh what am I gonna do when its just me and him? Alone? At night?" she fretted

"Do you want me to stay the night? Or stay the night for a few months until he's a little bigger? I'll leave first thing in the morning. So I won't technically be living here. You know. Just to help you out?"

"That doesn't sound like a half bad idea" she smiled

* * *

 ** _Nathan and Haley are finally back at school. Nathan is in the locker-room with his teammates after practise and Haley is walking to class with Brooke. Jamie is at home, with Haley's parents._**

 ** _With Nathan in the Boy's locker room._**

Nathan put his stuff in his locker as he grabbed a few towels wiping down his sweaty body. It felt as if he hadn't graced this locker room for eternities. He looked around, everything was exactly the same. Except, he wasn't. He was different. It felt almost weird to him how just in a matter of a few months his whole life had completely taken a new turn. He grabbed his water bottle as he poured it over his head, cooling himself down from the intense practice.

"Nate! My man! So good to have you back bro", yelled a familiar voice.

"Tim Smith", that voice doesn't get annoying, Nathan replied back sarcastically

"Yo man. You don't even know how much I missed you", he said as he tried to hug Nathan.

Nathan stepped back. Not allowing Tim to hug him.

"Don't", he said with a stern voice

"Woah, woah, woah. Chill fam. I was just showing some love to my bro." he said as he tried to get a fist bump from Nathan but epically failed.

"So, uh anyway Nate. Is it true? Are you really with that nerd girl? And want something to do with that kid?", Tim asked hesitantly

"First of all, her name's Haley. Second of all, none of your damn business", he jested.

"Dude, you said to me yourself you want nothing to do with the damn kid. Why the change of heart? How much did she pay you?" he laughed.

None of this was a joke to Nathan. Nathan grabbed Tim by his jersey and slammed him up against the lockers. He looked him dead in the eyes.

"You say shit like that again Tim, I WILL fucking destroy you", he threatened

Tim put his hands up in the air.

"Dude, chill. I was just messing around. No but seriously, did she sleep with you again? Is it like, you have sex with her and you help increase her popularity in school?" he mocked

Without a second thought, Nathan raised his strong, intimidating hand and stuck Tim across the cheek, leaving an angry red welt. Tim whimpered and closed his eyes, then turned away from Nathan. He again raised his hand, this time clenching it into a fist. Concentrating all of his anger into one blow, he hit his defenceless friend straight in the stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs. After Nathan struck him a few more times, he released him, satisfied. Tim felt limp against the ground, bruises already beginning to form.

As Tim slowly fell to the ground, covering his face with his hands, protecting whatever flesh he could. Nathan pounced on him, kicking his body while rapidly punching and slapping his cheek. Echoes of moans of pain and sorrow were muffled by the horrid slapping and hitting A small puddle of red blood seeped out of Tim's followed by tears of pain.

"That's enough!" Coach Whitey screamed

"He's had enough! What are you, an animal? Leave him alone!"

Nathan ignored him, continuing to cause bruises all over Tim's body.

After what seemed to take six and a half million years, the moans stopped. Nathan ended the show with the grand finale - heaving Tim over his head and propelling him into the brick wall, causing a sickening crack. Then, dead silence.

* * *

 ** _With Haley and Brooke as they walk the school hallways..._**

Haley and Brooke walk down the school hallway, ready to make their way to class.

"So, how you feeling kiddo?", asked Brooke

"It feels really weird you know. I mean, it's the same school. The same buildings but everything's just so different."

As they were walking, Haley came across a familiar sight. She stopped as flashbacks crept at the back of her eyes. She stood there staring at the spot. Her phone dropped from her hands. All her body's strength ebbed away. Her legs became shaky. And suddenly the panic sets in. Everything is too tight, too close, too much. She felt like she needed to get out of here. She needed to breathe. But she couldn't because all she could think about was that day. Her words. Her life. Her choices. As she stood there sweating cold bullets of fear, wonder why she was panicking.

That day suddenly came crashing back to her. Blood. Blood. There was so much blood. She stared at the locker intently, remembering her dismal state as she lay there crying out in agony. She remembered clambering her legs together as Brooke got towels to control the bleeding. The way the whole school gathered around her to watch this circus act.

Brooke noticed Haley suddenly grow tense. She remembered the day, what happened and where. It was the exact same spot. Locker 48B.

"Haley. Look at me. Look at me. Breath in. Breath out. Wait for your heart to slow its frantic pounding. Close your eyes, squeeze them shut. Just hold on till it passes." Brooke reassured.

"HALEY! Look at me. It's okay. Just breathe", said Brooke repeatedly.

It happened so suddenly. Her heart began to race as her chest tightened; it felt as if the centre of her head - right behind my nasal cavity - was being pulled. A rush of sound roared through her as her knees buckled, and as black clouds pressed their way into her vision. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth gaped open as she was overwhelmed with thoughts and tragic events of that day. Those thoughts seemed to whirl around her head uncontrollably, making her dizzy, and before she knew it, it was complete darkness. She collapsed, right there.

"Oh my God! Haley", yelled Brooke as she tended to her friend yet again, as Haley lay their unconscious...

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _We all wish for a miracle that shines brightly in the dark never fall for the ritual of pride, killing the art. Broken pieces will fall apart, promises will tear down the trust. Find a reason to give your heart but I'll find a reason for us. I remember when we dreamt of lives and now we only pray one of the known. I remember when we lived for everything_**

 ** _Looking back now, but it's all gone"_**


	10. We float

**We float**

 **A/N:** Hey guys, so judging by your feedback I got that most of you didn't like how Nathan pounded Tim and also how Haley passed out. To defend both of those things, Nathan beating Tim to the pulp was because of his anger, he hasn't _totally changed_ yet, but he is **trying**. He **WILL** change. He is still got that Nathan Scott inside of him which he himself doesn't know how to control. But of course, he will show **regret** and **remorse** and take responsibility for his actions. And understand how violence is **_never the answer_**. Just how in the show Nathan learnt the hard way. It takes time. But I won't drag that out lol. And with Haley passing out, it was nothing more than a **_panic-attack_**. Nothing serious, just because that time was hard for her and those memories just came crashing back. But it was just to show that the **_wounds are still healing._** For both Nathan and Haley, they're both on the road to recovery. Hope you guys understand.

I appreciate all the feedback, and take it on board. So thank you guys. Enjoy :)

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _We wanted to find love. We wanted success. Until nothing was enough. Until my middle name was excess. And somehow I lost touch. When you went out of sight, when you got lost in the city. Got lost on the night, I was in need of help heading to black out. 'Til someone told me to run on in honey."_**

* * *

Brooke quickly grabbed a bottle of water from her bag and sprinkled some on Haley, in hopes she would open her eyes.

"Haley, honey. Wake up please.", cried Brooke

Before she knew it, Haley opened her eyes as she started to look around. Haley sat up in confusion.

"Wha-what happened?"

"You totally KO-D dude. You okay?"

Haley put her hand on her head as she stood up with help from Brooke. Slowly becoming refamiliarized with her surroundings. She looked at the locker, the same locker where she had bled next to for hours in agony and pain. She walked up towards it and put her hand on on it.

"But now we float. Take life as it comes", she said

"What does that mean?", asked Brooke

"Without the dark, we'd never see the stars. It means it was my past, It's gonna take time for all that pain to heal you know. But I'll get there." She smiled as she glided her hand down the locker and turned around.

"And I'll be here. Every step of the way", assured Brooke.

As Haley and Brooke made their way to class they saw Nathan being held by Whitey being escorted to the Principals office. Behind them was Tim, he was in a rough state. He held onto his nose as it bled, blood was stained all over his shirt. Tim looked Haley dead in the eyes.

"All your fault bitch", he whispered

Haley's eyes were left stunned. She stood there as she figured out the situation, of course. Of course, Nathan probably lost his temper and pounded Tim to the pulp. And now he was gonna pay for it. Nathan didn't even try to make eye contact with Haley. He knew if he did, he'd only be filled with resentment.

"Nathan", yelled Haley

Nathan dared not to turn towards her. He stopped, and took a deep breath. How on earth was he going to explain himself in this miserable situation. He was at fault, he lost his temper and used violence yet again to express himself. His face was covered in regret as he knew what consequences followed. Nathan knew from the moment he looked Haley in the eyes, he'd break down. He'd start his stories over again and apologise to her, for doing this. He'd want to embrace her in his arms and beg for her forgiveness and promise not to do it again. But that was getting old. How many more mistakes was he going to keep on making, until he realised he has totally fucked up.

"Nathan?", she yelled again

"Stop calling him you bitch. This is all your fault", cried out Tim whilst holding his blood nose.

Nathan took a deep breath. He tightly clenched his fists and refrained from making any comment, or saying anything. He stood there hopeless. He closed his eyes.

" _Bite your tongue, Nathan. Bite your tongue_ ", he said to himself in his head.

"Tim, I'm pretty sure Nathan already pounded you for saying something stupid. Why are you trying to make it a second time? So I suggest you shut the fuck up before I add another shade of black and purple to that face of yours", fretted Brooke.

"She did this! She trapped him and had his baby. He's never laid a hand on me. For ANY girl. Now look. What the fuck happened to Bros before Hoes? I said one thing about her and he beat me like there was no tomorrow. She fucking did this", yelled Tim in anger

Nathan felt as though his patience was being tested to the core. He took a deep breath and bit his tongue, shaking his head. His eyes rolled back into his head as his heart was racing. He wanted to tell Tim to " _Shut the fuck up_ ", and throw a punch. But for some reason, by Haley being there he felt as though he couldn't. He would be less of a man in her eyes if he did anything.

"Haley, get to class. Tim shut up and go to the Nurse's office. Nathan, come with me", said Whitey as he held onto Nathans' arm, escorting him into the principal's office.

Haley watched on as Nathan disappeared into the office. She sighed.

"Why is he like this?", she angrily said to Brooke

"Haley, he doesn't know any better. The only ever way he's been able to express himself is by throwing a few punches and showing them who's boss. Classic bad boy. I know what he did was wrong, and whatever punishment he gets, he deserves. But you have to understand who you're dealing with here. Nathan Scott. Son of Dan Scott. He hasn't got any role-models in his life, Hales"

"Are you defending him?" she questioned

"You know as well as I do who he is"

"Just because he's Dan Scott's son, doesn't give him a right to go around beating people up, just because he get's angry Brooke. One minute he's calm and fine and the next he's exploded and spreading his torment everywhere. It scares me", she jested

"I get it. But you out of all people should understand that. Teach him. Be his friend. Show him. Someone once told me there's good inside everyone, we just have to help them find it. Especially if they don't see it themselves"

"I hate you" she sighed

"Love you too", Brooke joked

"All jokes aside kiddo, I think he should really take some anger management classes or something. That dude needs to chill. And also, you shouldn't come down on him so hard, he's already probably feeling like crap. Did you notice how he didn't look you in the eyes not once. Obviously he didn't want to feel worse than he already did. He cares about what you think. Use that to your advantage. Teach him Haley, show him the way. Just like how you did with me. You never gave up on me." Brooke smiled

"Yeah, I guess you're right", she said as they hurriedly walked to class.

* * *

 ** _In the principal's office waiting room_**

Nathan watched the clock as he sat there next to two other "delinquents". He rested his back against the wall as he tapped his foot continuously against the ground. He fiddled with his hands and rocked back and fourth on the bench as his anxiety and regret grew, not knowing what punishment he would get. It was weird, he had been here many times before. On multiple occasions.

His record was insane, the amount of crap he pulled, he was surprised that he was even allowed back in school. This time, even he knew he had gone too far. What was he thinking? Tim had always had a cocky mouth on him. He didn't know when to shut up. What the hell came over him. Why was he like this? His anger had always cost him so many things in life, he got that from the great Dan Scott. How cursed did he have to be to have a father like Dan Scott. God Damn. He shook his head in annoyance at his situation, which he had put himself in.

"Nathan Scott", yelled the secretary

Nathan stood up, his heart was beating like a marching band of drums. He gulped.

"The principal will see you now," she said in a stern yet threatening voice.

Nathan walked his way over and took a seat in the chair. Waiting for what punishment was to be given to him. The principal took out his huge file and rummaged through it, sighing in dismay. Nathan felt as though he was a prisoner. He felt scared and wanted to run.

"Look, before you give me my punishment, I feel like I should say something."

The principal looked up and had a screw face, he was angrily squinting his eyes and was scrunching his nose.

"I know what I did was wrong. I should never had beaten on Tim like that, I'm a total idiot for doing so. And I know I make a ton of mistakes. But you gotta understand me, Principal Turner. I got a girl pregnant, a girl who I didn't even know. Haley, you know her. You know the girl who almost bled to death in the school hallway? Well, our baby had a brain condition thing and needed surgery and he was sick for days. Scratch that. He was sick for months. I was so stressed out. I'm 17, and my kid was sick. I'm a kid with a kid. It's so damn hard. Today was my first day back, and Tim aggregated me. He said all kinds of crap about Haley and my baby. I lost my temper, I pounded on him. I don't know what came over me. I get angry so damn quickly. And I always end up regretting it. I'm sorry. I screwed up, yet again. I know you're just as sick of this as I am. I don't know what to say. I promise you, it will never ever happen again. Cross my heart and hope to die", he was panting, he had never been more nervous in his life

"Nathan, remember the last time you were in here. Not too long ago now." Said Principal Turner

"Yeah"

"What were you in for son?"

"I cheated on a test?"

"No, try harder. Think again."

"I called Mrs Daniels a slut?"

"No. Try again"

"I set fire to the Tree outside the school parking lot?"

"We could do this forever. The last time Nathan. The last time you were in here?"

"I don't know I can't think of anything?"

"I beat up that foreign kid because he was looking at me funny?"

"One more time", he sighed

"Uh, okay. Erm. I don't know? Oh. I punched Lucas during a game because he wasn't playing properly?"

"And bingo was his name-o"

"And what did I tell you that time?" asked the principal

"Don't do it again?"

"Nathan. I talked with you for a real long time, and don't do it again was all you got from that. My oh my"

"No, I'm sorry. You said that I need to learn how to control my anger. There's only so many chances you can give me…"

He stopped. He remembered full well what conversation they had had. The words "Military school" popped into his head. His eyes widened with shock, as he realised what Principal Turner was getting at.

"No no. Not military school. Look, I'll do anything. Just don't send me there. Give me another chance. I'll do volunteer work until I graduate. I'll get my GPA up. I'll take extra classes. Anything. I just don't want to go to Military school. I got a son and a..and a"

He froze.

"And a girlfriend, they need me. I need them"

"I know. And because of your son, I wouldn't dare to separate you from them. It's wrong. You're lucky. If you didn't have that responsibility of being a father, I'd be filling out a form to send you to Military school right away. But this is not on Nathan. Your behaviour is outrageous. It threatens the safety of all of my other pupils." He stopped and sighed

"4 weeks' suspension, volunteer duty for a year, weekend classes for a month. Oh and also, Anger management sessions, for a year"

Nathan was relieved at his punishment; it could have been a lot worse. Thank God.

"Thank you so much"

"And let me be very clear Nathan IF you do anything, and I mean ANYTHING wrong henceforth. This. This is where you'll be. And I don't care if you got a son to raise", he yelled as he pointed to the Military school form.

"I understand. Thank you, principal Turner. Thank you for the chance"

"Don't let me down. This is your LAST and FINAL chance", he threatened.

* * *

 ** _The school day had ended and Haley was back at home with baby Jamie in her room._**

Haley hadn't managed to get in contact with Nathan and was worried about his whereabouts. After that incident in school, she needed to talk to him. She called his cell multiple times, but each time it kept going to voicemail. She was growing frustrated.

"Dammit Nathan! Where the hell are you?" she said to herself as she lay Jamie down on the bed in front of her

She looked down at Jamie. He looked exactly like Nathan, bright crystal blue eyes, small slender nose, bright pink lips. He was literally a Mini-Nathan. She smiled.

"You're just the most adorable baby boy in the world aren't you. Yes, you are! Yes, you are", she said as she tickled his belly.

"You may look like your daddy, but I pray to God you don't have his anger" she sighed as she tried reaching him again.

There was a knock at her door. She lit up, in hopes it was Nathan.

"Nathan?"

"No, Luke", he said as he walked in

"Luke! How are you?" she smiled as she embraced him in a hug

"Just came to check up on you and my little nephew", he said as he gave Jamie a kiss on the forehead.

"We're both doing fine" she smiled

"Well, your fake smile totally sells it. What's wrong?"

"Did you hear what happened with Nathan at school today?"

"Yeah, he beat up Tim. What an ass"

"Language!" she yelled

"Oops sorry. Yeah, I heard he beat up Tim and got sent to the principal's office. Rumours have it that he may have to go to military school. Now if you ask me- "

"What? Military school?" she said in shock

"Yeah Haley. You know how bad he is. How many times he's messed up. It makes sense. Have you seen his record!"

"Yeah, but. Oh God. I don't know what to say" she frowned

"There's nothing to say. I don't even know if it's true. It's just a rumour. You know as well as I do, how crazy those rumours can be"

"Yeah but you know what happened with Bobby Singer. He was just like Nathan. They were best friends for crying out loud. Look where he is now! Military school"

"Bobby was way more messed up than Nathan. His parents were both junkies, and he was an alcoholic. He literally tried selling coke to the damn principal. The kid didn't know right from wrong. As much as I despise Nathan, he's no Bobby"

"Luke, I'm so scared. For everything. Nathan just gets so angry and does these stupid things. We have a baby now. I'm scared"

Lucas sighed as he kissed her on the forehead and hugged her.

"It's gonna be okay. Look, Brooke told me that he's changing. He's becoming a better person. So that's something. And this is coming from me. The guy that hates Nathan"

"Where is he anyway?" asked Lucas

"I don't know, I've been trying to contact him since school finished.", she said worriedly

"Let me call, Deb", he said as he dialled the phone to Nathan's mum.

"Hello? Hey Lucas, how are you? Everything okay?"

"Hey Deb, uh yeah. Hey listen I was just wondering if Nathan was at home?"

"No, sorry Lucas. I thought he was around Haley's? He hasn't come home."

"Oh. Eh, nevermind. It's okay. Thank you"

"Why? Is he not there either?" she said growing worried

"Uh"

Luke looked at Haley who was shaking her head.

"Don't tell her. She's gonna worry needlessly", Haley whispered.

"Yeah but she's his mum. She needs to know, so she can call him to" he whispered

"Luke? Is everything okay?"

"Well, Nathans not round Haley's house and he's not answering his phone either. We don't know where he is"

"Hello? Deb? Hello?", said, Luke, as Deb had cut the phone

"Why did you tell her? What's wrong with you? She's gonna get worried now. He's probably fine", she said in anger

"She's his mum Haley. She deserves to know. Besides, she can probably track him down."

"I hope you're right" she sighed as she looked at her phone praying his name would show up…

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _Before somebody blows your goddam' brains out. You shoplifted as a child. I had a model's smile. You carried all my hopes. Until something broke inside. But now we float. Take life as it comes. So will we die of shock? Die without a trial. Die on Good Friday. While holding each other tight. This is kind of about you. This is kind of about me. We just kind of lost our way. But we were looking to be free"_**


	11. Things we don't know about

**Things we don't know about**

 **A/N:** Hey guys, sorry for the delay in updating, I've just been super busy! Got a summer job, actually need the money to be able to afford to go to Tree Hill takes London so I can meet James and Joy! Super excited. Anyway, thank you for all the reviews, it really means a lot. Just wanted to say I take all your reviews on board. Please do leave your reviews telling me what I can improve, or just something you like. I take all of it into consideration. :) This story has a hot steamy Naley scene ;) so enjoy ;)

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _Sit upon my lap. Are you ready for bed? Wait just a second. Let me clear my head. I've got something to talk to you about and I think it's going to be one of those nights where we sit up and talk awhile and completely empty. I've something on my chest. I've gotta get it out. I won't let your ceiling come breaking down and I don't know how to tell you this, but I, I think I'm falling in love, yeah, With you."_**

* * *

Haley sat there wondering where Nathan had disappeared off to. She was growing anxious with each passing moment.

"Haley, I'll go look for him. How about that? Will that give you some peace of mind?", suggested Lucas.

"OMG! Yes, please Luke. It would mean everything. I just need him to come home. We need him", she cried anxiously as she looked at Jamie.

"Jamie needs him", she whimpered.

Lucas nodded and gave a smile. He leaned over and kissed Jamie on the forehead and embraced Haley in a hug.

"Call me, as soon as you hear anything", she said.

"I will"

Lucas walked out of her room and into his car. Wondering where on earth Nathan had disappeared off too. He knew a few of his hangouts and decided to check them all out first. As he drove to the first location he saw all of Nathan's friends sitting there, being obnoxious as what they were notoriously known for. He fretted as he got out of his car and walked towards them.

"Hey, have any of you guys seen Nathan," he asked.

"The fuck do you care", replied one of the guys as the others laughed

"Look, I don't wanna play games here. I'm here for Haley. You know, his baby mama. He's been missing since after school finished. We don't know where he is. Do you guys have any idea?"

"Even if we did, we wouldn't tell you"

"I know we hate each other, and our cliques are worlds apart. But this is serious, do you have any idea? Please?" he sounded desperate.

"He's dead", said one of the boys as all of the others laughed as the mocked Lucas

"Guys shut the fuck up. Can't you see he's serious. Look, Lucas, we don't know. We haven't seen him since school today either. Sorry man", replied back one of the other guys.

Lucas sighed as he got back in his car driving to the next location. As he arrived there he saw the usual clique of boys sitting there, smoking and drinking. Surrounded by girls. He took a deep breath as he got out of his car and made his way towards them.

* * *

 ** _-With Nathan-_**

Nathan aimlessly wandered through the back roads of Tree hill. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He didn't know if he was running away, or being a coward. Nothing made sense to him. He wanted to go back to Haley and Jamie and tell them he loved them and wanted to be there for them. Man up. But he couldn't. He felt sick of letting Haley down all the time, he was tired of being a constant disappointment. He didn't want to go back and show his face to her and yet again explain why he was a total screw up.

Hollow, painted, trying to keep his head high but dying inside whenever something reminded him of all his constant failures in his miserable reprehensible life. Every day he felt like he was putting on a fake smile so people won't worry about him, but inside he just wanted someone to understand, to recognize his pain, to be there for him. A cold breeze brushed against the tree, making the leaves shiver under the too bright sun. Motes of dust danced through the air, glinting in the sun, like little wisps of life fading in and out of focus.

There were people all around him, though he hadn't noticed a single one. To many people, it would have been difficult to move through so many people, but he was drifting, floating by without touching a soul. Each step he took required more effort, but he couldn't stop, it was as if he were falling. The muscles in his face were limp, expressionless. He was looking straight ahead, unwavering, but his brain saw nothing. His eyes, motionless, revealed only his pain. In a place full of people, he was alone. He heard nothing, he saw nothing, he felt nothing.

As he tried to maneuver his way through the hustle and bustle of people, he found himself at the edge of a steep hill overlooking the city. The view was truly breath-taking. His feet were causing smalls rocks to roll down the hill in front of him down the slope and into the pine trees. As he looked over the tree tops he saw a beautiful blue body of water and a huge bridge leading across the bay to a road along the cliff. The sailboats in the water look like matchbox cars from there. The bridge dominated the scene though he could see all the way to the top.

He took the view in. He stepped forward, thinking there was more land there. His foot slipped on a rock as he went tumbling down the hill. Hitting rocks and twigs on his way down. He finally came to a halt as he reached the dead road leading to nowhere. Although the height which he fell from wasn't that high, he was still bruised and bloody.

He collapsed to the ground as he felt the pain as strong as one hundred daggers sinking into his stomach. Groaning and screaming with anguish, he writhed about on the floor, clutching his body. His eyes were watery with the sheer pain and his breathing came out in sharp, shallow rasps. But none of the pain mattered. He just took it all in. Sweat dripped down the side of his face and covered his forehead in a thin sheen. He lay there, purposely not moving, as though he was meant to be there. He looked up at the sky, and the trees overpowering the scene.

"Is this all you got", he yelled

"Is this it?"

"Because I can take this! You hear me! I can take this", his voice echoed into the depths of the city.

He sat up and brushed off the dirt off himself. He angrily punched the ground beneath him as he buried his face in his hands.

"Nathan? Nathan OMG is that you?" cried a voice from the top of the hill

Nathan turned around and looked up as he saw his brother Lucas standing there. Normally he would have hated the site of him. He would have wanted him to disappear. But for some reason, he felt as though he needed him.

"Nathan, stay there I'm coming down" he yelled

Lucas made his way down as he finally got to Nathan. He sat beside him and looked at his sorry state.

"What happened man?" he asked worriedly

"I fell"

"Yeah, any idiot can see that you fell. But how. What happened?"

"I was mad at myself, for fucking up yet again. I didn't know if I could face Haley again. So I just wanted to clear my head. I was just wondering about random streets and whatever. I got here. I saw the beautiful city. I took a step forward and my foot slipped. I went tumbling down, and landed here"

"On dead man's hill? You know no one comes here right and also you didn't get up and go back?"

"I didn't see any point"

"Why not?"

"I have nothing man. I don't know"

"You have nothing? Do you know that Haley has been worried sick about you? She's been calling you a billion times, saying how she needs you and wants you. I've been looking for you, for the past 2 hours now. Going to all your hangouts and being confronted by all your jackass friends. You got Haley and you got a beautiful son who loves you. You have a mother and you..."

He stopped.

"And you have me"

"Lucas, who are we kidding? We hate each other man. What are you doing?"

"I never hated you, Nathan. I hated who you were, and who your dad was. Well, our dad. I was jealous of you. But, I see how much you care about Haley and Jamie. It means something to me. I know we've had our differences but look, just come home to Haley and Jamie. They need you. And I think I sure as hell need a brother right about now", he smiled

"Wow. How the hell are you such a good guy Luke? God, I hate you" he laughed

Lucas smiled as he put his hand on Nathans' shoulder.

"Come home Nathan. Haley needs you. Jamie needs you" he pleaded.

"You gonna carry me or what?" he joked

"How bad is it?"

Nathan rolled down his sleeve and showed an open wound to Lucas. Blood had dried and formed a large scab over his arm. He pointed to his leg, as more wounds and scars painted their way over his aching body.

"Damn", he said as he helped Nathan up.

"We'll stop by to the hospital on our way home"

* * *

 _ **-Back with Haley and Jamie—**_

Haley lay on her bed as she anxiously kept looking at her phone. Jamie lay on her chest as she cradled him in her arms. There was a knock at her bedroom door.

"Come in" she yelled

Lucas and Nathan made their way to her bedroom. Haley was shocked at Nathan's battered and bruised appearance. She was left in utter discontentment, not knowing what to say.

"Look who I found", smiled Lucas as he helped Nathan inside.

"What happened?" she whimpered as she lay Jamie down in his crib and walked her way over to Nathan.

"Tim got his revenge" he joked, trying to make some light of this situation

"What?" she said in shock

"Or karma did. Whichever comes first", added Lucas

Haley put her arms around Nathan as she melted into his rock hard chest. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed. She looked up at him.

"Alright. I'm gonna leave", interrupted Lucas

"Hey, Luke. Thanks" said Nathan

Lucas smiled and nodded.

"No problem bro," he said as he left.

"Nathan. What happened?" she whimpered.

"I fell off of dead man's hill" he sighed

"But I'm fine, I promise", he smiled as he kissed her forehead.

Haley's eyes began to well up, one by one, tears started to fall from her eyes.

"Oh, hey come on. Don't do that" cried, Nathan.

Nathan wiped her tears and placed both of his hands on her face. They looked each other in the eyes, the first time in a long time. Nathan brought her face closer to his as he rested his forehead on top of hers. He could feel her nervous breaths hit his face. Her hair was silky soft. He held her close, and she was protected within the circle of his arms. He didn't just think about their first kiss. Her lips looked so inviting, yet he didn't want to invade them. Everything was quiet.

"I love you"

Haley turned her head in the other direction because she was nervous.

He said it again.

"I love you, Haley"

Again she turned her head again due to the nervousness overcoming her.

He put his arms around her head, and made eye contact with her. He looked her passionately in her eyes. Their noses touching.

He said it one last time.

"I love you"

"I love you too Nathan", she whimpered

First, he kissed just her cheek and moved slowly closer to the sweetness of her lips. Her lips were at first moist, and cool. She slightly parted her lips, and he did the same. Such sweetness he had never imagined. The big goofy smile was plastered on his face like always. He pulled her in for a hug and leaned down to nuzzle her nose before pressing his lips more passionately to hers.

At first, it was gentle like he was afraid to hurt her, but as soon as she began kissing him back he responded by pushing her against the wall that was behind them and kissed her with so much passion that she saw stars. She felt his tongue run across her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to let their tongues explore each other's mouths. He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her closer, before pulling away from her completely so they could catch a breath.

His hands touched her face, and gently pulled her closer to him, he brushed her hair from her neck and gently but deeply kissed it, slowly working his way to her mouth for a little kiss on his way to the other side of her neck, kissing gently, softly sweetly...whispering her name and telling her how sexy she was. Then back to her lips, softly, growing deeper and more passionate, not too wet, not too much tongue, just the right amount, their souls were dancing...it was so good a soft moan escaped her lips.

His eyes looked as if they were fighting against a decision, she could tell one overpowered the other. Her heart fluttered as his eyes moved down to her lips and before she knew it, he had moved in again. Their hesitant lips grew more comfortable once they realized the other wouldn't pull away. She didn't even know what had come over her to give in so easily, she also knew she didn't exactly regret it either.

His lips were warm and smooth as they brushed against her own. She stiffened when his hands planted themselves on her waist, but his light, heart-warming chuckle managed to loosen her up again. Moving his right hand up to the nape of her neck he seized her lips once again with his own, only this kiss was more powerful more passionate sending heat to her cheeks, butterflies to her stomach and taking her breath away all at the same time.

She didn't want to break contact with him and as if realizing what she wanted, her hands moved to ball themselves into his hair. Her lips parting, this time, to let his tongue explore her mouth and her own tongue feeling the pure pleasure of exploring his mouth as his hand searched the small of her back and into her hair. His eyes were wild and she knew they matched her own. A smile crept across his face sending a stupor to grin across her face as well. With her hand in his, he planted a sweet kiss on the back of it and then pulled her closer.

He slowly moved his hand underneath her shirt. He pulled her in closer as if they weren't close enough. He could feel her breathing get louder and more needy…He brushed his fingers across her shoulders, letting the straps of her dress fall. Pulling her into a gentle embrace, his lips caressed hers as they tumbled onto the bed. Her fair hair framing her perfect face. Running his hands down her body, he looked deep into her hazel eyes and knew that he loved her more than anything.

The bedroom door burst open as there stood Haley's parents. They were left stunned at the scene. Loud cries of their son, broke awkward moment as they both pulled away, gasping for air. Haley caught her breath as she ran over to cradle Jamie. Nathan walked over as Haley held him in her arms. Nathan fretted.

"Haley, what the hell?" yelled her father

"As if getting pregnant once didn't teach you anything?" he screamed.

"Jimmy, calm down. You'll scare the baby", replied Lydia.

Both Nathan and Haley sat there, not really knowing what response to give to her parents…

* * *

 ** _The things we don't know about. Well, they'll see. So take my hand if you want to. I promise I'll never leave. I'll stand right by you. I swear I won't betray you. When I see you smile. It's like an innocent smile. It's such a beautiful smile. It's one of those smiles. That I only see in my dreams. So, let's me and you, Yeah, that's what we would talk about"_**


	12. Calling you

**Calling you**

 **A/N:** Hey guys, loving all the feedback and reviews you guys left in the previous chapter. I just couldn't wait to get back to start writing this chapter. Some interesting twists and a sexy, steamy Naley scene coming your way ;) ha-ha. Enjoy :)

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _There's something that I can't quite explain. I'm so in love with you. You'll never take that away and if I've said it a hundred times before expecting a thousand more. You'll never take that away. Well, expect me to be calling you to see If you're OK when I'm not around. Asking "if you love me" I love the way you make it sound calling you to see. Do I try too hard to make you smile? To make us smile"_**

* * *

Haley and Nathan awkwardly avoided eye contact with her parents. Nathan fiddled with Haley's blanket, as Haley cradled Jamie.

"Is someone gonna explain to me, what the hell is going on here?" angrily yelled her father

"Haley, honey. Did going through this whole experience teach you nothing darling?", frowned her mother disappointed in her.

"Mum, look. It was nothing. Nothing was gonna happen. We were just fooling around", she sighed

"Fooling around? Fooling around? Is she kidding me, Lydia? What happened the last time you fooled around huh? You got pregnant! You got pregnant Haley, and died! You got pregnant and died!" he choked

"She didn't die Jimmy", sighed her mother.

"Mean girls reference", mumbled Nathan under his breath as he smirked at Haley

Haley giggled quietly biting her lip.

"What? What did you say son?" yelled Jimmy

"Uh. Nothing. Nothing sir", he gulped

"You kids need to take responsibility for your actions. You can't keep fooling around. I get it. You're young, you have hormones and urges. But Haley, he's a teenage boy. And we all know what's on the mind of every teenage boy. I would know. I was a teenage boy once.", croaked Jimmy

"Dad, nothing was going to happen", she fretted.

"Really? Nothing. So what would have happened if we didn't walk in on both of you?", questioned Jimmy in annoyance.

Both Nathan and Haley had no response. He was right. What would have happened? Would they have gone all the way? Or would they have just kissed until they needed to catch their breaths back? Haley didn't quite understand what had come over her either. She was left in utter confusion. It was great kissing him. It was perfect. But what comes next? And why didn't she stop him? She looked over at Nathan who was staring at the floor, looking as guilty as a sweaty court defendant. As though he was being put on trial or something.

"Answer me! What would have happened huh?" he repeated, with his tone increasing.

"Nothing. Nothing. We wouldn't have gone all the way, dad. I made a mistake once. I sure as hell won't make it again. Too much drama, too much pain" she insisted.

"You listen to me son. If I ever see you even trying to get close to my baby girl like that again I will rip that tongue of yours right out and feed it to the dogs", he threatened.

"Daddy! What the hell", yelled back Haley in annoyance.

"You better watch it son", he said pointing his finger towards Nathan.

"Don't worry sir", he agreed.

"I should put a camera in here or something", said her father as he and her mother walked out.

"Don't be so daft Jim" replied her mother as they left the room.

Nathan and Haley breathed a sigh of relief. Nathan laid his head down on the pillow next to Haley. He stared up at the ceiling. For a brief moment, there was awkward silence between the two of them. Neither of them knowing what to say. They had so much to talk about, so much to tell one another. But how. How could they break this tension and just say something? Anything.

" _Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'll be the one if you want me to. Anywhere I would've followed you say something, I'm giving up on you. And I... am feeling so small. It was over my head I know nothing at all and I... will stumble and fall. I'm still learning to love just starting to crawl"_

Nathan and Haley looked around her room in confusion. Where was that song coming from? And how apt was it for their situation.

" _Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere I would've followed you. Say something, I'm giving up on you_ "

"Oh, damn. You're leaning on my phone, Nathan. You must have pressed play by accident on my playlist", said Haley

"That's what that is, I was thinking. Damn, this is one uncomfortable bed." He chuckled, as he slid his arm under his back and took her phone out.

"Nice song", he said as he looked at her phone screen.

"Yeah", she nodded as she put Jamie down in his crib.

" _And I... will swallow my pride. You're the one that I love_ "

Nathan hit pause on her phone. He took a deep breath. How weird was it that a song could perfectly express every emotion that they were both feeling, but neither of them could verbally say the words to each other? Nathan looked up at Haley and placed his hand on her leg.

"I'm sorry Haley"

"Nathan-"

"No, wait, before you say anything. Let me. I know, I know, I keep screwing up and you probably are just as fed up as I am. I don't know what the hell comes over me you know? I just lose my temper so quickly. Everything just drives me so insane, it's like I have all this pent up anger and regret and I have no other way of taking it out besides beating someone up, or punching a wall or something."

Haley just looked at him. She just saw the pain in his eyes, the regret and the remorse he had. He had felt that for so long, and he just needed somebody. He needed to be shown the way, he was so lost. Inside all that big macho manly angry guy was a sweet, humble, innocent guy. Haley saw beneath all that, she saw the real him. She put her hand on top of his.

"Principal Turner almost sent me to military school. I have a really really bad track record. It sucks. My file is insane, I mean the amount of crap I've pulled Haley. But he didn't, he saw something in me. He gave me another chance and believed in me. I'm suspended for a month and have to attend anger management classes this whole year. I literally can't afford to mess up again, because if I do. Turner will physically kick me the hell out, and personally, drop me off to military school."

"Why are you so angry all the time Nathan? I don't get it. Everyone has some underlying cause for this anger they're feeling."

"I wanna blame my dad, but that's too easy. I mean sure, he did screw me over a lot of times. Beat me up as a kid, and even now. Beats the crap out of me, to the point where one time I ended up in hospital in a coma for two weeks. And my mum, he gets drunk. And he just takes all his anger out on her. Beating her till she's black and blue.", he admitted.

"What? OMG! That's terrible!", Haley was stunned.

"Yeah, and that's not even the worst part. This one time right, we lost a basketball game. It was one game before the semis. We were so damn close to the final. I scored 41 points that night. Broke every state record, even got a medal and was all over the news. No one had ever broken records like I did. But none of that mattered to my dad. We lost the game. He was furious. It was so close as well, literally by 1 point. Anyway, that night when we got home, and I was getting out the car. He grabbed me by my shirt and slammed me repeatedly against the wall." He froze, as he tried to collect himself. His throat felt dry.

"My mum saw and came running to stop him, but he just gave her one blow and she was out cold. I don't remember the rest. I woke up in the hospital, and he had told the doctors, I was beaten and mugged on the street. I had 6 fractured ribs, a broken arm, and a broken jaw. I needed like 5 surgeries to correct it. And the best part is, I was only 10. That's just one of many, many stories.", he croaked as tears were forming in his eyes.

Haley's jaw dropped in shock. She shook her head and scrunched her eyes, as she took in all of this horrific, tragic information. God, he was so broken. He was more broken than she had ever realised. She knew he had issues, and that he was this bad boy.

But it was all an act. His home life was awful, and even then he had somewhat of a heart to be there for her. Be here with here. She had no idea how to respond to his story, how to comfort him and relieve him of his pain he had dealt with for years. His eyes told a billion stories, all the same. Full of nothing but anger and discontentment.

She placed her hand on his cheek as she gently stroked it with her thumb. She sighed deeply.

"Nathan, I am so so sorry. I don't even know what to say. I mean, that is so disgusting. First of all to hurt you and your mum like that. To beat you up, and make excuses to doctors. I mean you hear about this kinda stuff on the news you know. You see it in movies, or TV shows and feel for people.", her voice broke as tears were flowing from her eyes.

"Domestic abuse, and violence. You hear about it, and you take it in. You feel bad for the victims. But that's it. You feel bad and that's it. You don't do anything. When people go through this kind of crap every single damn day. This is their hell. Hell is their reality. God, I hate myself. I wish I wish I had known or done something, raised awareness more. God. I feel sick", she grunted.

"Haley, this is not your fault. This is just a series of misfortunate events and a long-standing history of my alcoholic abusive father. We tried for years to get out, but he just kept on emotionally blackmailing her, and other crap. We were scared. I had all that anger and still do. I wanna get out, and save my mum. But I'm scared. I know I don't express my anger in the correct way, and I know I go off on people and do stupid crap. I wanna change that Haley. I do"

"I am living in hell from one day to the next. But there is nothing I can do to escape. I don't know where I would go if I did. I feel utterly powerless, and that feeling is my prison. I entered of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key"

"What are you going to do? Are you going to live in the dark, locked in here? Afraid to look out, answer the door, leave? Yes, he's out there, and he's clearly not going to leave you alone until one of three things happens: he hurts you and gets arrested, or he makes a mistake and gets arrested, or you stop him", she gulped

"Haley, It's not that easy", he sighed.

"Of course not Nathan. Hell if It were, don't you think all that pain and suffering would end by now? You got to get out Nathan. It's not just about you anymore. It's about us. We're a family now. Save your mum, save your damn self. I'm here, I'll help you fight this okay. I'll do everything in my power to help you out of this mess. You got me now." She smiled, as she held onto his hand tightly.

"I love you. I love you so much", he smiled with a glimpse of hope.

"I love you too", she replied as she kissed his hand.

* * *

 **-At school with Lucas and Haley, during lunch-**

"Hey best friend", Haley beamed as she sat down beside Lucas.

"Okay, you're weird", he snarled

"And you're on your period", she joked.

"Wow, nice. What's up? Go on, tell me. You seem like you need a favour"

"Oh, Lucas. You don't know me at all. I just wanted to have lunch with my best friend. No strings attached"

"Haley"

"Ok fine you got me. I need a favour. It's not for me. It's for your brother"

Lucas raised his eyebrows and looked over at Haley.

"I know, I know he's not your best friend or whatever. But I need a favour so bad Luke. Please, please, please" she begged

"Woah, okay okay. Tell me what you need"

"Nathan's dad beats on him and his mum. His home life is rough. It's bad Luke it's real bad. He's been sleeping in shop class. Checking into random motels. He hasn't gone home since this whole thing happened. He slept the night over at my house. But it can't be a permanent situation"

"He slept over at your house?"

"OMG, what are you, my dad? He slept in the guest bedroom. God"

"Okay, so where do I come into all of this?"

"Can he please stay with you and your mum until we figure something out with his dad? Please, please, please"

"Wow, I don't"

"Luke, please. It would mean so much to me. He's your blood brother. Please, he's your nephew's father. Please", she begged.

"What about his mum?"

"She's staying at her friend's place for now. But he needs a place to go. Please, Luke."

"Alright fine, he can stay with us", he caved

"OMG! YES! Thank you, thank you so much. You don't know what this means to me. I love you. Thank you so much", she beamed as she embraced him in a hug.

* * *

 ** _-It's been 5 days since Nathan settled in with Lucas and Karen. Lucas and Karen had to leave Tree hill for the weekend to attend a conference for the café. Nathan is home alone—_**

Nathan sat on the couch watching TV, whilst scoffing his face with Cheetos and Oreos. There was a loud knock on the door. Nathan quickly cleaned the Cheetos off of his clothes and ran over to open the door.

"Hey", he smiled

"Can I come in?", asked Haley as she walked in

"Yeah, since you already are", he chuckled.

"Where's Lucas and Karen?"

"Oh, they had a conference to go to. For their café or something. They're gone for the weekend"

"Home alone"

"Home alone", he smirked

"Where's the little man?" he asked

"With my parents. My sister's in town, so she's spoiling him rotten."

"Ah, nice. Which sister?"

"Quinn. She's a photographer, and she stopped by on her way to Charlotte."

"Nice. So you came here? Instead of spending time with her?", he smiled

"Yeah, I missed you", she smiled as she cuddled up next to him

"Oh, yeah? Well, I missed you too" he beamed as he kissed her on the forehead.

He wrapped his arm around her as she leaned on his chest. His hand stroked her back and made their way into her hair.

 _ **-Haley's POV-**_

I couldn't help feeling the adrenaline of my heart when he first took my hand. I felt so protective and secure in his presence, that I hadn't taken much notice of where he was leading me. The scenery was so exquisite. I was sixteen, and he was seventeen, there was no doubt about that; but when he leaned down to my ear kissed it gently, I couldn't help the blush and the sound of my heart pounding inside my chest, to hide the fact that I was head over heals for this guy.

He was my salt, and I was his pepper. We made the perfect couple. He spoke every word with affection; 'love', would make my hands go numb, you're my' would set off my heart as a ticking bomb, and 'I Love you' meant the world to me. I love you, was the only words I wanted to hear in the world. I love you, was the message of bells that rang in my ears, as I had become one of his to cherish.

He looked into my eyes, our heads were the same level. His eyes were the colour of a vast blue ocean. They emphasized on the freshness his appearance gave to his beauty; but in the light, they looked almost blue. From the pressure of his hands, I could tell he was as nervous as I was. Especially when he leaned in, so close I could spell the flouriest scent coming from his breath, which I knew I would never forget this moment.

His lips reached my jaw, tracing the lines of my ear to my collarbone. They were so warm against my skin as they reminded my of soft, little fluffy pillows; and for that moment, reminded me of fairy floss. I couldn't stop my heart from pounding in my chest. My blood flowed rapidly down my cheeks, making my face as red as ever. I lifted my hands out of his and pulled them up high to his shoulders, where I entwined them with his soft black hair. He put His hands down at my waist while pulling me closer to his chest. I was his, and he was mine.

He ran his fingers through my hair and pulled me closer, before pulling away from me completely so we could catch a breath.

"Wow, what was that for?" I breathed and put a hand to my tingling mouth.

 **-End of Haley's POV-**

Nathan stroked her cheek and kissed her lips. Haley was cut off as Nathan slowly started to move his lips on Haley's. Their lips moved in time with each other and Nathan raised his hands up to Haley's hair and tangled his fingers in it. His other hand he pulled up to her face and cupped her cheek in his hand. Haley raised up his shirt and slowly started to feel his body.

She moved from his lips to his neck thrusting her onto his thighs. He placed his hands on her lower back slipping one hand down the back of her jeans. She was in a total daze and all she cared about was how good it felt kissing Nathan.

"I - Love - You" Panted Nathan through the hard kissing and touching.

Nathan opened her blouse slowly, twisting each button with his thumb and third finger, then running his finger along her breastbone. When her shirt finally fell open, he studied her, then caressed her breasts. Was he putting her on? He licked her nipples, then moved his lips slowly down her stomach, and Haley couldn't have cared less if he was.

He removed her underwear and was kissing her just above her stomach.

"Stay with me." His mouth was in her ear. He kissed her nape.

Suddenly all the romantic angst and tension disappeared into thin air. Haley stopped, catching her breath back she got off of Nathan. She quickly put on her underwear and trousers. She gulped and bit her lip.

"What? What happened?"

"Nathan, I. I can't do this"

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _I will keep calling you to see. If you're sleeping, are you dreaming? If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me? I can't believe you actually picked me. I thought that the world had lost its sway. It's so hard sometimes. Then I fell in love with you. Then came you. And you took that away It's not so difficult. The world is not so difficult you take away the old show me the new and I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you. So while I'm on this phone a hundred miles from home. I'll take the words you gave me and send them back to you"_**


	13. If you're not running

**A chase isn't a chase if you're not running**

 **A/N:** _Hey guys, thanks again for all the reviews. This chapter is gonna be an interesting one, with some unexpected events. I've had some time off my summer job so I'm loving writing all this new stuff for you guys. I do appreciate all the reviews and comments you all leave! So thank you again so much. For now, enjoy the chapter ;)_

* * *

 _ **"I don't know where they have gone to tonight. She won't know what we get up to out of sight. We live, we drink, we talk, we hide away. Because things were always better off that way. You can call, my head would go astray and I would leave, disappear for days just to take you off my mind. Let me take it off your mind"**_

* * *

I gotta go", said Haley anxiously.

"What? Why? Haley, what happened?"

"Nathan I can't", she said as she ran out the door slamming it on the way out.

Nathan sat there in confusion. It's not like he forced her, and held a gun to her head? He didn't do anything against her own will? What happened? Why did she leave like that? God, he was so pissed because he was hard as anything and she was gone.

"How did she turn me on like that and literally just leave?", he mumbled to himself.

There was a knock at the door. Nathan hoped it was Haley, and she wanted to pick up where they left off. He got up and opened the door, and to his surprise, it was none other than Lucas. Nathan stood there in shock, not knowing what to do, there was clearly no hiding the fact that he had a boner. Lucas looked straight down at his crotch.

"Dude", chuckled Lucas awkwardly.

"Don't", frowned Nathan, as Lucas walked in.

"So, this is what you do when you're home alone. It's alright, I get it. You're a guy. You have needs", he winked.

"Lucas, stop"

"What was it? Porn? A magazine? Or just your imagination", he teased.

Nathan sighed at his brother's mocking. He shook his head as he put his hand in front of his crotch in embarrassment.

"It wasn't any of those things. It was Haley"

"What? What'd you mean it was Haley?"

"I don't know, she was here. We started kissing and one thing lead to another. She was basically naked and we were I guess gonna have sex. But she caved the last second. Before I even did anything. She got up, got dressed and literally just left? Leaving me here, with this", he said looking down at his crotch.

"Now, I'm hard for no reason" he added in annoyance.

"That is way too much detail, more than I wanted or even asked for. Images. Images. Agh. I can't." he shook his head in disgust.

"Luke, can you be serious for a second. Please.", yelled Nathan in anger.

"Dude, look. Maybe she wasn't ready."

"She let me undress her? I took off her fucking underwear? At what point did she not realise where this was eventually gonna lead to? I don't get it?"

"See, Haley's different to other girls. She probably just got carried away. Lost in the moment. Look, the last time your guy's had sex. She got pregnant. And she went through hell. You don't know Nate. You weren't there. I was. Every day was hell for her. Trust me. She let her hormones get the better of her. And I guess this time before anything actually happened and your guys went all the way AGAIN, she backed out because she was freaked the fuck out", he explained.

"She was naked man", he sighed

"Yeah, that's awkward."

Lucas couldn't help but stare at his crotch, it was making him feel uneasy.

"Dude you're so hard right now. Can you please", said Lucas in disgust motioning Nathan to cover his crotch with something.

"Oh for God's sake Lucas, grow a pear. Never seen a guy with a boner before.", he choked.

"Alright, calm down. Look, honestly speaking, like hormones and your teenage boy mind aside. Do you think you and Haley are even at that place yet? We're your ready to have that responsible sexual relationship?"

"I don't know? I mean I've never really thought about it? All I knew was that we were kissing with tongue and everything, and she wasn't exactly holding back either. So I just figured she was ready. Did I mention she was naked", he reiterated.

"Nate. Look, honestly, I know Haley. And you gotta figure her out too man. Give her some time. She isn't ready to have sex again. Obviously, she got freaked man. That's why she left so fast without any explanation. She was scared. You gotta understand that."

"I guess you're right. It was probably more my hormones and my urges doing my thinking than my mind and heart. I just got so caught up in the heat of things you know. She's so damn fucking hot man. Like, God. Her body is like carved by angels. So perfect and intricate. Each part, holding its own stories. I just was so fucking excited to explore her beautiful Goddess-like body. Man, she's a stunner I tell you."

"Ok, ew. She's basically like my sister. I did NOT need to know this. Give her some time man. She'll come around. And it'll be meaningful. Don't pressure her either, respect her."

"Ha-ha sorry. I just love her so much", he smiled.

"Whatever floats your boat man. And in the meantime put some ice on it or something. You know, un-turn yourself off or whatever", he chuckled.

"What are you doing home anyway?", asked Nathan

"My mum wanted to stay longer, because she met up with a bunch of her old friends, and I wanted to come home"

"Oh"

"Argh. Gross. I just realised. If Haley hadn't stopped this whole thing. Y'all would have had sex on my couch. Argh gross man"

"Or even worse. I would have walked in on you guys. Scarred for life. Scarred for fucking life", he said covering his eyes and shaking his head.

"Threesome?", Nathan joked.

"I literally don't know you right now", he frowned as he playfully hit Nathan.

"Go google how to get rid of a boner, or go play with yourself, I'm gonna walk away now", he said

"I resent that", Nathan yelled as Lucas left the room.

* * *

 _ **—** **Back with Haley at home. She and her sister Quinn are in her bedroom playing with Jamie —**_

"So wait. Let me get this straight. You let him undress you, and kiss your boobs and whatever and then you just left? Leaving the poor guy turned on like that. Damn Haley, you take being a tease on another level", joked Quinn.

"Stop it. I don't know. I freaked out. I felt so vulnerable like I did the last time. I felt like I had no control, and he was just leading me on and I was following so blindly"

"What'd you mean?"

"It felt exactly like the last time…It started off with flirting. Him complimenting me. Then passionate deep kissing. And then bam, we had sex. It felt like that all over again Quinn. I didn't want to relive those memories. Not this time", Haley opined.

"Well Hales, you did lead him on? He's a guy. Guy's are obsessed with sex. You weren't exactly born yesterday. You should know better. I kind feel bad for him", she jeered.

"You feel bad for Nathan? God, I screwed up didn't I?"

"No kiddo. You just need to be open and frank with him. He's not a mind reader. Just tell him how you feel, he seems like a good guy. Give him the benefit of the doubt"

There was a loud knock at Haley's balcony window. Haley and Quinn looked up in confusion. The white lace curtains were blocking the view. Haley stood up and moved them out of the way to see a very sorry looking Nathan standing there.

It began as a whispering in the air. The day had been beautiful and the sky was like a dome of plasma blue. The clouds had looked like airy anvils drifting under the gleaming disc of the sun. Nathan was soaking wet.

The moon seemed to turn the leaves into a flaming patchwork of colours: scorching-yellows, lava-reds, and burnished browns. It added an alien glamour to a perfect lover's scene. Nathan watched as he motioned Haley to open the door and let him in before he was this ghastly wind's dinner. They heard a greedy thrush, snail a-tapping on a rock.

The rain poured down over their heads, as Haley opened the door masking what they were no longer afraid to show. Time had come and stolen what was not its to take, and so the rain came down.

There was no rainbow that day, merely sharp flowing sheets of liquid that had echoed the feelings of those present. It was fitting, in the end that even the angels cried at the loss seen by their eyes.

The rain, the beautiful rain. It reminded them of puddle jumping with a child, of a small pair of rubber boots that would never be worn again. It reminded them of tears, the tears of a mother facing the loss of what she held most precious.

But above all, the rain cleansed. The rain healed. It wept, and for a moment, they had been the rain.

"I'm sorry Haley. I shouldn't have lead you on like that"

"Nathan— "

"No, I should have respected you. But God, you just have such a smoking hot body, I can't control myself when I see it. Or see you"

Haley smiled at him as the rain was intensifying.

"Is that it?"

"You know, my pride says yeah, that's it. Just walk away and let Haley deal with the fact that she's clearly threatened by a sexual relationship. But my heart says, just forget about your pride, you idiot. You love this girl. And even if you're going to catch pneumonia, your ass is going to stand out here in the rain till you convince her to forgive you. So come on, Hales, just meet me half way here?"

She was soaking wet and trying desperately to hold back the choking sobs threatening to overwhelm her. Without a word he pushed the door back and pulled her into his arms, holding her as though he would never let her go, and finally, she could really let go with the pain.

He stroked her hair and rocked her gently as her tears stained his jumper, soaking him almost as thoroughly the rain pouring down on them. Quickly – more quickly than she would have imagined – the overwhelming feeling of sadness subsided, and she became quiet and still.

Gently – oh so gently – he pushed me away slightly, so he could see her face.

It's then she could see it dawn across his face. The moment of realisation she longed for years to see. Where he saw her for who she really was – not a brash, overconfident, loud, intimidating woman but a soft, vulnerable, beautiful girl, who despite the show she put on for the world, is still looking for someone to love and protect her.

He tentatively tucked one of her unruly curls behind her ears, and her eyes wandered over his face.

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm sorry. Because I love you. And Because you're looking really hot standing out here in the rain, and I'm thinking, I have to kiss you."

She sensed a moment of hesitation, verging on panic – like a bird fluttering frantically inside a cage when for a moment it is startled and unsure of its surroundings. She held herself completely still and waited for it, for reality to snap back in and for him to pull away. They've been so close to this moment a few times now, and at any moment, she expected him to shy away like a frightened horse. But amazingly, he drew her closer. Their eyes locked, but for a moment they flicked to her lips, and she realised he was going to kiss her.

She closed her eyes and her mind exploded.

He was going to kiss her.

They were standing in the pouring rain on her balcony of her house and she was kissing him.

It's like nothing she ever imagined, but like everything she could have hoped for.

He took her his arms, held her tight under the grey sky...her hair was soaking wet, as were her jeans, and shirt, and feet, and face. He cupped her chin in his strong hands and guided it up to his face. He leaned in for the kiss, soft and sweet, passionate and romantic. She kissed back, leaned her body in closer, just to feel his warmth for she was shivering in the storm. It was perfect, nothing could beat it. In that kiss, she could tell he really cared. There were sparks. It was undeniable.

Both Nathan and Haley were drenched, but none of that mattered to them.

"Oh my God, you guys! Get inside!", yelled Quinn as she opened the balcony door and motioned for them to come inside.

Nathan and Haley pulled apart, just about catching their breath. They looked at each other and smiled. They quickly ran inside, with a trail of water following behind them.

"God, you guy's can't be together for a second without kissing each other or something huh?" teased Quinn.

"So I guess your Quinn then?", asked Nathan

"Right, you guy's have never met. Quinn, Nathan. Nathan, Quinn.", added Haley.

"You picked a good one Hales", laughed Quinn.

"Stop it", winked Haley

With that, Jamie started crying. Haley dried herself off and picked him up. She grabbed his milk bottle and began to feed him, as she sat on her bed. Nathan sat beside them and watched. Quinn looked at them and smiled.

"The perfect family", she giggled.

"So how long are you in town for Quinny?" asked Haley

"Just a few more days. So when are your guys' finals?"

"Crap, I totally forgot about finals. I haven't even started to revise yet", said Nathan

"Me either. There's just so much going on right now", added Haley.

"Well I'm suspended anyway, so I guess I got a lot of time to revise now"

* * *

 ** _—_** ** _The next day, Haley and Lucas are at school whilst Nathan is at home with Jamie, round Karen and Lucas's—_**

Nathan sat in front of the TV, with his math textbook in one hand and Jamie in the other. Jamie was sound asleep.

"Very effective way of revising I see", joked Karen as she walked in.

"Uh, yeah. I don't know. I feel like I have to look after my son, revise and have a social life all at the same time", he replied.

"Do you want me to take Jamie off of your hands for the day, whilst you revise? Those finals aren't gonna take themselves you know"

"Erm…I, erm. No?", he said hesitatingly

"No?", she asked in confusion

"I kinda like taking care of him you know. I like him here in my arms. I feel safe somehow. I look at Jamie and see how small he is, and everything he's overcome in his short life. How he even got here. I look at him and somehow feel like it's all gonna be ok you know", smiled Nathan as he looked down at Jamie.

"That's sweet. You're a good kid Nathan, Haley's lucky to have found you"

"Nah, I'm the lucky one. An ass like me, messed up family life, reputation for being a total jerk, and to find a girl like Haley and then be blessed with a son like Jamie. That's luck I tell you"

Suddenly, there was a loud banging on the door.

"Open up. Open up right now, before I burn this house down and everyone in it", a voice mumbled.

Karen and Nathan stood there in shock. Who the hell was it? And what the hell did they want?

"Open the fuck up right now! I swear I'll break this door down if I have too", the voice got louder.

Karen walked up closer to the door. She took a deep breath as Nathan stood behind her with Jamie in his arms.

"W-w-who i-is i-it?" she gulped

"Your worst nightmare", yelled the voice.

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _Take me down cause I don't wanna be around when this gets off. Seeing you here makes me think maybe she's throwing in the towel we live, we drink, we talk, we hide away. Because things were always better off that way you can call, my head would go astray. So I would leave, disappear for days just to take it off my mind"_**


	14. Where you lead me

**Where you lead me**

 **A/N:** Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry for the long delay in updating. As I said I've been working to save up money to go to the Tree Hill convention in London so I can meet James and Joy! So been super busy with my job :(. So I'm super sorry for this late update. :( But this is a great chapter that I know you guy's will enjoy, with loadsa unexpected twists and turns ;).

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _What is life? A thousand roads, a thousand ways why am I so afraid to move. I crossed the line. I'm stepping out so come what may. I give it all cause I'm drawn to You. As long as my heart is beating...Where You lead me I will follow. Where You lead me I give my life away. Where You lead me I will follow forever and a day."_**

* * *

Nathan and Karen grew nervous at the loud yelling. Karen opened the door to see Deb standing before her. She was fuming, red in the face and had fire in her eyes. She was ready to fight.

"Deb, what on earth?", cried Karen

"Don't you _what on earth me_ you dirty bitch!", she yelled as she barged inside.

"Mom? Are you outta your mind? Jamie's sleeping, you coulda woken him up. Can you please for the love of God, keep it down!", Nathan argued.

"Living peacefully are we? With a comfortable roof over your head and a new found brother. While I rot in hell", she moaned

"What? What are you talking about?", asked Nathan

"It's bad Nathan. It's really bad", she fretted.

Deb sat down as she took a deep breath.

"For these weeks when you were here and I was round my friend's house, Dan had no idea where we both were. But my bitch of a friend ratted me out. Dan God-Damn paid her. She sang like a canary. He came knocking on the door in the middle of the night and dragged me out on the street and beat me. He kept asking for you. I never told him. But he somehow found out Nathan. He's coming for you. I ran away and I've been running all night. I can't deal with him anymore so I'm leaving and getting the hell out of Tree Hill. And if you wanna be safe you better come with me"

Nathan stood there in shock. His mother's battered and frightened appearance terrified him. Sending chills down his spine. He gulped as he held tighter onto Jamie.

"Mum, I can't just leave. I have a family now", he anxiously replied

"Then deal with the hell that is your father. I managed to book two plane tickets for us for tonight to Montreal. Come with me Nathan, it's not safe for you here anymore", she cried.

"Mum, I don't think you heard me correctly. I told you, I can't. I can't leave Haley and Jamie alright. I'm done. I'm done now mum. Whatever he wants to do to me, I can take it. But I will not compromise the safety of Haley or Jamie. I'll do everything I can to protect them. But I'm done with all of this dad drama. It's not just me anymore ma. I got a baby, I got a girlfriend."

"Nathan, you know your father. He will go to any length possible to may your life a living hell. Even if that means getting to you via Haley or Jamie, believe me, he will. Their lives are just as much in danger as yours is son."

His eyes glistened with emotion, pulling his eyes brows down, wilting like flowers in the autumn. His lips trembling as if he were to let out a sob- but he never did. His nose twitched as his mouth suddenly became agape and he drew in a breath of air sharply, turning his neck. He felt the wet hot tears fill up in his eyes, his throat closed tight and each word pitched higher than the last in an effort to squeak out the words that were bottled up inside of him. Finally, the tears spilt over and flowed down his face like a river escaping a dam.

"I'm done ma. I'm done"

His face showed distress and as he closed his eyes. He had wiped them so much they were red and swollen. When he went to look around, his vision was blurry; it was difficult for him to see clearly. He felt sick, not knowing what circumstances stood before him.

"Nathan", sobbed Deb.

"Ma, I'll face him like a man. The man you taught me to be. But I cannot and will not leave Haley or Jamie"

"Then take them, and go some place else. Get out of here for a while, I will sort something out. You won't have to worry about your father ever again. I have a plan but you gotta give me some time Nathan", she gulped.

"We got finals ma. Haley's parents will never let her leave with me. You're outta your mind"

"I'll talk to Haley's parents. But please, for the safety and well-being of your new family. Get out, get out son. Whilst you still can, and while you still have a family"

"Nathan, it's not my place but your mum is right. Dan is dangerous. You need to be safe, for Haley and for Jamie.", added Karen.

"I'll also talk to Haley's parents okay. And don't worry about finals, I'll talk to principal Turner and ask for an extension for you both, under these _exceptional_ circumstances. He's a family man, he'll understand. Deb, how long do you exactly need?", Karen asked.

"Give me 3 weeks at least"

Nathan sighed as he shook his head in distress, trying to come to terms with his misfortunate life. He froze looking at Deb. Sweat poured down his body as he stayed still as possible. Deb looked at him up and down and he almost let out a whimper. He tried not to breathe but he knew it was impossible. He was shaking trying to come to terms with this.

"Mum. God. I hate this"

"I know baby. But this is what's best okay. Please. Please leave. Protect your family. I couldn't now look where i am. You still have a chance. Take it son."

"Where even too ma?"

"Nathan, my half brother lives in New Jersey, Atlantic City. He owns a chain of hotels and apartments there. He's always telling me to come visit. I could call him up and you could stay in one of his apartments or hotels.", said Karen.

"See Nathan. Now go. Go tell Haley and get out of here okay?", said Deb.

Deb got up and walked over to Nathan. She wiped her tears and placed her hands on Nathans' face. She looked him dead in the eyes. She looked down at Jamie in his arms and kissed him on the forehead.

"I'm sorry son. I'm really sorry", She leaned forewords and kissed Nathan on the head.

* * *

 ** _—_** ** _Karen and Nathan go to Haley's parent's house and Karen explains the situation to them. After long hours of debating, they finally agree. Haley and Nathan are in her bedroom packing all her things-_**

"You alright? You haven't said anything all day", worriedly asked Nathan

"What do you want me to say, Nathan?", Haley sighed

"Are you mad at me?", he frowned

"No"

"You seem mad",

Haley threw her phone across the room, she angrily knocked over the things on the nightstand. Her normally calm and pleasant demeanour slowly changed and her face contorted in an all - consuming anger; her nostrils flaring, her eyes flashing and closing into slits, her mouth quivering and drooling, slurring words that were unintelligible came spewing into space like a volcano releasing its pent up emotions into the darkness.

Her hands closed into fists and she crouched forward, daring him to repeat once more the words that had torn her heart into fragments, that had dashed all her expectations of 'happy ever after'. She didn't wait!

Then she let go with a right uppercut to the head. She missed him but his jolting sent him flying from one side of the room to the other at what seemed like the speed of light. His body made contact with the opposite wall and he slid to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

"What was that for?"

He looked around the room, thinking of all the memories that existed in those walls. If only the walls could speak. He started the conversation.

"I'm sorry for this situation Haley. But, please, just talk to me so we can try and work this out."

He sighed and continued, "So I can try and make this better for the both of us."

Only silence followed and she still refused to speak. With each passing minute, each second taunting and nagging at him. Suddenly, he became annoyed. He was outraged at the fact that she wasn't cooperating and that she was being to stubborn. His speech became sarcastic, acrimonious even.

"So that's it?!" He said harshly.

"You're not going to even cooperate?!"

She still didn't say anything and just looked outside the window of her bedroom. His eyes stared at her, forming an intense gaze. It made her uncomfortable as she squirmed and writhed under his gaze. His expression had all sorts of emotions. He was infuriated as his face and neck became red and the feeling he had in his heart was resentful for this situation he had put her in.

The taste in his mouth became tart and every bone in his body shook with spite. Soon, the tart taste in his mouth disappeared and slowly a formed a smug smirk on his face. With sadness, he said, "Haley I'm sorry. I don't want this either."

The room was filled with an eerie silence and she shivered in fear, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.

"Nathan, you know I keep... I keep thinking that once we pass one obstacle its gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay. But every time something gets better, something worse comes along, making our lives hell again. It's not fair Nathan", she yelled

"I know, Haley. I know"

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at this situation. I'm scared to death to leave my parents house, and here I am packing to leave. Going into the unknown. A year ago I was just a 15-year old girl, minding her own business and getting on with her mediocre average life. I would come home, watch TV, eat random shit, do my school work, hang with friends and then hang with my family and that was it. That was my life. God"

"Haley", he sighed.

"God Nathan. Now everything's so different. We gotta leave because of your fucking father. My life, your life, and our son's lives are in danger. I mean what the hell? I wanna be 15 again. I don't want this. I don't want it", she sobbed uncontrollably as she buried her face in her hands, shaking.

Her head felt heavy and her sight was becoming fuzzy. The room around her was losing its brightness and falling dark around Nathan's body as he stepped closer to her. Her vision was like a tunnel now and he was standing in the middle. Everything around her was gone, and all she could think to do was hug him. Was he really here?

Reaching her hand out she grazed her fingers against his right arm, they didn't fall through the air, they brushed across his fair soft skin. Looking up at him she felt melted, he was here, with her. Like a surge of electricity flowed through her, she felt her arms go up and wrap behind his neck, her cheek rest on his shoulder.

"Nathan"

She acknowledged the feel of his arms around her torso and his hands resting on her back weren't enough. Like the warmth venting from his body wasn't proof he was here. For some reason, she felt like she had to say it aloud for it be true. But she didn't, because he was there, for her.

"How could this happen?" She sat and sobbed as he looked at her sympathetically.

"I don't know what to do.", she cried

"It will be okay"

He pulled her to his warmth and spoke softly in her ear.

"You have me"

He looked at her with his gleaming eyes and brought her to his warm embrace. She sank her face into his chest as if to ask him to never let go as she put her arms around him.

He took a step back and lightly pecked her cheek. He looked away for a second and then looked back at her, his eyes determined and slightly nervous. He leaned forward, as if to bump her nose, but instead turned his head and swiftly kissed her on the cheek. She could feel her cheeks heat up, especially in the place his lips had just left, but he simply smirked at her while he waited for a response.

That wasn't enough. She moved her lips upwards, motioning him to kiss her. He smiled. They were so close, she could feel the heat of his body warm hers. She could hear the soft whisper of his breath as he exhaled.

She inched closer and felt his hand encircle hers again. She looked up at him, his soft crystal blue eyes already locked onto hers. He ran his fingertips up her forearm, leaving a trail of goose-bumps blooming in their wake. He brought his hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb running along the curve of her cheek bone.

She nestled into his hand, feeling his warmth seep into hers. His emotions were running high when she gave him a hug and he then leaned in and started trailing small, slow kisses along the underside of her jaw, slowing down slightly under her chin, and then continuing down the other side of her jaw. She didn't seem to move or breathe.

He then moved his lips slowly up onto her cheek, bringing his kisses slowly closer towards her lips. He started kissing the edge of her mouth, continuing his kisses along her lower lip and then along her upper lip. He then slowly opened his mouth a little and moved in for a simple kiss and then for a longer open mouthed kiss.

He then broke the kiss for a second to gauge her reactions. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly open as though she was lost and looking for more. She moved in for a stronger kiss at this point and they held it as a long, slow kiss, building passion between them.

It was a passionate kiss to tell her of all the love he had for her. Nathan started gently biting on Haley's bottom lips pleading for some type permission to enter. Haley quickly responded to him by moaning and with that, he slipped his tongue into her mouth exploring it and tasting her sweetness. He let his tongue slip out a little where their tongues fought in unison. They slowly parted and took a deep breath.

"I love you", Nathan smiled as he placed both his hands on her red cheeks.

"I know", she nodded

"I love you too", she added.

* * *

 ** _-Haley's parents drop Nathan and her to the Selma-Smithfield Train station—_**

"Alright baby girl. You take the train from here to Atlantic City, New Jersey. And get off there and you'll meet Diego Addario, he's the driver. He'll drive you to the Water Club hotel. It's a 5-star hotel, 3 grand a night! So you both are lucky. He'll direct you both to Dalston King whose Karen's half brother okay?", said her father as he held back his tears.

"You got everything don't you?", added her mother Lydia

"Yes- ma", said Haley as tears were streaming out of her eyes.

"Don't cry baby girl, you gonna set me off", choked her father as he embraced her in a tight hug.

Her father froze in fear and shivered in sadness. The cold air singing around him, silence eating his surroundings leaving the sight of his loneliness shooting air out of his mouth with each breath he exhaled. The moment he felt a tickle upon his pale ice cold dry cheeks, he rose his thin, long and slender fingers and spotted the target that was dripping slowly. His eyes were screaming for justice with each translucent trickle of emotions. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to his baby girl. But he knew this was best for her safety and well-being.

He kissed her head and pulled out from the hug placing his hands on her face.

"You listen to me baby girl. You take care of yourself okay? Call us as soon as you reach there. Call us every day and let us know how you're doing. Alright?", he sobbed.

Haley nodded her head as she embraced her father yet again for another hug. She was scared. Absolutely terrified. Not knowing what stood before her.

"And as for you Nathan. No funny business. You respect my little girl; you hear me? Take care of your son and my baby girl. You're a man now. Start acting like it", fretted her father.

"I will sir. You don't worry. I love your daughter and your grandson, more than you even know. Taking this step for me is a huge. I get it, sir you're worried and you have every right to be. I will respect her and take care of her, please don't worry. Trust me when I say love her more than life itself and I'll do everything and anything in my power to protect her. I'm sorry for this mess, it's not fair on you at all. My unfortunate circumstances put us into this cascade of horrible events but it's what's best for us now. I will keep them both safe and protected at all times. I would never want anything bad to ever happen to them. Your daughter means everything to me. I love her, I really love her", he sounded confident.

Jimmy nodded his head as his eyes were bloodshot red. He embraced Nathan in a hug and felt somewhat proud and confident at his daughter for picking this man to spend the rest of her life with. Jimmy kneeled down and looked at Jamie in the buggy. He kissed Jamie on the forehead.

" _Trains to Atlantic city, New Jersey leaving now. Please come to departure gate 54. Please come to departure gate 54_ ", said the voice overhead.

"That's us", said Nathan.

"You guy's got everything?", said her father

"Tickets? Money? Food?", he added

"Yeah, daddy we got everything", said Haley

A voice from the distance sounded.

"Wait! Wait!"

Nathan, Haley, Jimmy, and Lydia turned around.

"Luke! OMG! What are you doing here?", yelled Haley

"What? You think I'd let my best friend leave me without saying a goodbye first?", he informed

It was painless. His arms gripped her, leaving her breathless as he held onto her. She relived their past memories in the comfort of his arms. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, pulling him in closer. He sobbed into her neck and he tried to pull him even closer to her so that nothing could stand between them.

"I'm really gonna miss you Hales", he choked.

"I'm gonna miss you too Luke", she sobbed.

With one last choking squeeze, she let go of the light that made her darkness fade and remained floating on their perfect friendship.

"Take care of her okay?", Luke jested

"I will. I promise." Nodded Nathan.

"Nathan, I trust you. You're a good kid. But please, take care of my daughter", reiterated Jimmy

"I am nothing special sir. Of this I am sure. I am an average kid with average thoughts and I've led a pretty mediocre average life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but if there's one thing I know is that I love Haley with all my heart and soul, and to me, that is enough. Sir, it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want your daughter. I want all of her, always, and forever. Everyday. Me and her...", he smiled

"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about. You, kids, are gonna be just fine", smiled Lydia as she leaned forewords and planted a kiss on Nathan's forehead.

" _Final call. Final call. for all trains to Atlantic city, New Jersey leaving now. Please come to departure gate 54. Please come to departure gate 54. This is the final call. Please report to gate 54._ ", said the voice overhead.

"We better go", said Nathan as he looked at Haley.

Haley and Nathan gave their final goodbyes to Luke and her parents as they grabbed all their stuff and walked away…

* * *

" ** _I can't deny Your very presence is my life. And why would I ever turn away? Cause deep inside I know that I cannot rely on anything less than faith, as long as my heart is beating...Where You lead me I will follow. Where You lead me I give my life away. Where You lead me I will follow. Forever and a day. This is all I'm dreaming of. To live completely in your love. So this is life"_**


	15. Tell me where it hurts

**Tell me where it hurts**

 **A/N:** Sorry for the long wait again, I promise I will try my best to update more frequently as before. Just got some time off work so have a few days free yay :)! Okay so this chapter is VERY HEAVILY Naley and Jamie oriented. It's a little calmer chapter compared to the crazy angst-filled chapters from before. So enjoy :).

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _What is my day going to look like? What will my tomorrow bring me? If I had x-ray eyes, I could see inside. I wouldn't have to predict the future; I wish that you would do some talking. How else am I to know what you're thinking? If only people would say what it really was. What it really was? What it really was that they wanted."_**

* * *

The urge to cry came and went, chaotic, powerful, spilling hot tears. In-between the floods it sat heavy on their hearts. They won't sit still though, they won't curl up and refuse to move like how their body's wants. This too will pass. Nathan and Haley finally approached the departure gate, handed their tickets to the person at the front desk and found their way to their seats on the train.

"This is it huh?", sighed Haley

"I guess so", Nathan shrugged.

"We will get through this Haley. I can't keep apologising enough, it sucks this is what our lives have come to. I'm sorry"

"Stop apologizing will you? What's done is done, it's okay. We'll be okay.", Haley took a long deep sigh as she looked out of the window. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she kept wiping them away, so Nathan wouldn't grow worried.

"You alright Hales?", he asked.

"Fine", she lied as she fought back the tears. But it was no use. She was scared. She had never left her parents before. Never been alone with a boy for that long, let alone live with him.

As Haley cried her bottom lip quivered, the same as a baby pushed past endurance. Her eyes became glacier blue under the sheen of water, constant, yet allowing the tears to flow without pause. In that moment, in seeing her own reflection she understood the depth of pain that had been sitting below her skin.

The sadness flowed through her veins and deadened her mind. It was a poison to her spirit, dulling her killing off her other emotions until it was the only one that remained. It was as if a black mist had settled upon her and refused to shift, and no matter how bright the day was she would feel no sun and hear no bird song. For the world was lost to her and she knew of nothing that would bring it back into focus.

"I'm scared. I'm so scared Nathan", she cried as she cuddled up next to him.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her, kissing and stroking her. He knew words would not be enough, he knew all he had to do in this moment was just be there for her. Let her cry, let her know that he was gonna help her through this mess. He kissed her on her head as his arms were tightly wrapped around her. She cradled into his chest as tears flooded out from her eyes and onto his t-shirt.

"I love you. I love you so much", he whispered.

She looked up, her eyes all red, tears still flowing through. She broke into a half smile as she placed her hand on his cheek and rubbed her thumb across it. She slowly rested her forehead on his and felt his warm breath on her face. Her eyes locked onto his as she leaned in and found her way to his lips. Opening her mouth, she tilted her head and kissed him. He didn't fight it, he let her in. It was quick, kind of like a habit. He leaned back, breaking the kiss and looked at her. Looking deep into her eyes, seeing her pain. He smiled as he placed both of his hands on her cheeks and brought her face in for a kiss on the forehead.

How was she to put their love into mere words? An entire ocean of ink wouldn't be enough to describe them. They were a starburst of light amongst the darkening dusk. They were all the stars in the sky condensed into a single point. They were everything and nothing at the same time. Together, they were both a beautiful dream and a catastrophic nightmare. Some would dare to call it the perfect storm.

They were in love.

Breaking the tension, Jamie let out a cry for attention. A need, a want from his two young parents. Nathan gently lifted him from his buggy and held him in his arms, placing him against his chest.

"Our little miracle", Haley smiled.

"He is. You know, Hales. I look at him, and suddenly I think that everything is gonna be okay. I fall in love with the beauty of life that we once knew as kids but forgot along the way of this messy road called teenage-hood.", he confessed.

"Who's your favourite bubba, mommy or daddy? Huh?", joked Haley

"Obviously his daddy", teased Nathan

"No. It's gotta be your mommy right? Right my little soldier?", she joked as she kissed Jamie on the head.

"Come here, come here. Come to mommy", Haley motioned as she put out her arms.

Jamie squirmed a little, as he clung tightly onto Nathan. Nathan laughed.

"Daddy's little man I see. Well done son", Nathan winked

"Uh. So hurt right now", joked Haley as she pretended to cry. She put her hands on her face and made fake crying sounds, looking at Jamie.

"Oh no! What happened little man? We made mama cry!", played along Nathan

Jamie put out a hand and placed it on top of Haley's hand.

Haley moved her hands away from her face and started giggling, and tickled Jamie. Jamie started laughing, with a cute little giggle. As he turned his face to Nathan and placed his tiny hand on Nathan's cheek. Nathan smiled as he kissed Jamie's little hand.

"Uff, such a daddy's boy already", Haley joked.

"That's my son", Nathan laughed.

Nathan lifted Jamie up and put his face on his belly, and tickled him. Jamie laughed and laughed. Haley smiled at the adorable scene. Jamie's laugh was so innocent, so precious and it meant everything to her.

"You find that funny huh?", Haley smiled as she kissed Jamie on the cheek.

"Little monkey", Nathan added.

As Nathan and Haley played with Jamie, an elderly couple sat across from them. For the longest time, they kept staring at Nathan, Haley, and Jamie. Slyly making comments between themselves. Nathan looked over and noticed their body language. He placed Jamie on his chest.

"You got a problem over here?", Nathan angrily remarked

The couple looked over in shock, at Nathan's sudden outburst.

"No, no problem", replied the old man.

"Then stop staring at us", Nathan choked.

The couple didn't say anything, instead, they made some comments between themselves.

"Why don't you say it aloud, so we can hear too?", Nathan was growing angry.

"We have nothing to say to you", grunted the old man.

"Then let me make myself very damn clear, stop staring at us, and making your God-damn comments about us", he yelled.

"Nathan!", Haley choked as she grabbed tightly onto his arm.

"No, Haley. I'm not just gonna sit here and let them make comments about us and judge us like that", he yelled.

"Yeah, we may be young parents and we're not married. But wake up and smell the coffee it's 2016, nothing is how it was when ya'll were growing up alright. So quit your judgement and leave us alone dammit", he shouted.

"Kid, how old are you?"

"Does it matter?"

"You look like you're a baby yourself"

"And you look like a—"

Haley cut him off.

"Nathan, leave it alone", she looked mad.

Haley raised her hand and grabbed the attention of one of the workers. She called them over and asked to move seats. Nathan and Haley grabbed their things and walked away, not before Nathan had a few remarks to make.

"Enjoy your miserable, reprehensible lives", he choked as Haley tightly grabbed onto his arm and shook her head in annoyance.

"Listen here kid, I'm not gonna sit here and be made a fool of alright. Listen to me—"

Nathan cut him off.

"No, you listen to me. We get it, that we may not be doing things in what you know as a traditional method, and yeah I get that were a bunch of kids with a kid. But who the fuck really cares. We can take care of him, and of ourselves alright. I'm not gonna take your bullshit either, I love her. I love her so damn much that I would give my life for her, you hear me. And this baby over here. He's the reason why I get up each morning and am thankful to be alive. He gives me hope and courage. So no, I won't listen to your bullshit judgement, or take it. Age is just a fucking number. Get the hell over yourselves", he was fuming.

The couple stood there dumbfounded, not knowing what to say.

"Nathan, come on", Haley motioned as she dragged him away.

As Nathan and Haley sat in their new seats, Haley shook her head at him in annoyance.

"You couldn't just leave it alone", she sighed.

"Leave it alone? Haley, they had no right to judge us alright. Who the hell did they think they were huh?"

"People are going to judge you all the time no matter what you do...Don't worry about other people. Worry about you."

"Haley"

"You care about judgement now? God. What about me huh? When I was pregnant? You think that was easy for me? To walk around with my big belly like that, the tiny person I am. The young face I have. You don't think people judged me, and stared at me? The comments I got. Oh, look at that whore. What a slut. Disgusting girl."

Nathan was shocked. He had no idea. He didn't know what to even say.

"Haley- God. I-I"

"You don't have to say anything. Do whatever the fuck pleases you. Why? Because in the end, people will judge you anyway. So whatever", she sighed.

"Nathan you know what my dad always taught me? He said if they respect you, respect them. If they disrespect you, still respect them. Don't allow the actions of others to decrease your good manners, because you represent yourself. Not others".

"Fair point"

"Fair point? Nathan, you have to learn to control your anger. It's gotten you into so much trouble before, and probably will do in the future. It scares me. You hate your father so much, but God you act just like him sometimes."

"I know, I know. You're completely right. I don't know what comes over me"

"I can't keep babying you. I can help you and guide you, but ultimately it's up to you"

"I know"

Nathan smirked as he looked at Haley lecturing him.

"What?", she frowned

He smiled.

"Nothing", his smile grew bigger

"Nathan"

"Its just that you get all cute when you yell or lecture me. You scrunch up your nose and your eyes grow all big, it's cute"

She couldn't help but smile, she felt herself blush at his compliments.

"Stop it", she blushed again

"What? I can't help it that you're cute and innocent", he smiled

"Innocent huh?"

"Couldn't harm a fly"

"I got a frisky side to me to you know"

"Woah, where did that come from?" he smirked

Haley smiled, knowing full well that Nathan was about to seduce her. Even before they touched she felt his hands and her lungs expanded with briny air. His voice had the lilt she knew so well - his words soft with the smile that already played on his face. With the kiss came electric tingles, the desire to play.

Seduction was what Nathan did best, moving into Haley's personal space with just the right look of heat in her eyes. She didn't just look at a man, she looked into him as if she knew his desires. With the kiss came the smooth touch of her body, poised, just the right blend of relaxation and tension.

It had always been written in their gaze, a chemistry, a seed of love, an invitation to learn about the other. Always with a crowd, they stood apart, hearts beating all the faster when a chance to talk came. Then one day Nathan contrived a way for them to be alone, a chance for their bodies to communicate without the need for words.

Her lips brushed his. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. She wanted to pull away before she lost herself but she couldn't seem to…In this minty moment, her senses were seduced and she could no longer think straight.

"Haley" he whispered slowly

Prolonging each letter as if to savour them. She smiled, her heart fluttering at his voice as she clasped her hands on either side of his face. Never before did her name ever felt so wonderful. She stopped and she leaned in for another. He kissed her and the world fell away.

It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below her ear, his thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled. She ran her fingers down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them and she could feel the beating of his heart against her chest.

The next thing she knew, he pulled back and then had slammed his lips to hers and nearly knocked all wind from her lungs.

She hardly had a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of her lips and, at her grant of access, delved inside her mouth. It was a very sloppy kiss with the strong scent of old wine being exchanged in the intermingling of their billowing breaths. Her arms reached up and tangled around his thick, strong neck.

In an instant she had pulled away and arched up into his broad chest, moaning in the contact of body heat against her own, before she drew back into his lips. She could nearly feel the slight burn of the wine as it rolled off her tongue and seeped down her throat with every push of his tongue against hers.

Unexpectedly, his hand drifted to her hip. It settled there and pulled her closer. She inhaled sharply. She was against his warm chest, chiselled to perfection. Must he be so perfect? She splayed her hand against it, intending to push him away, but instead she left it there. His breathing quickened as did hers.

He began nuzzling her neck with delicate kisses. So faint, they were whispers. She urged herself to push away, but couldn't. Her limp body began to tremble uncontrollably. His head was angled slightly to the side as his lips came closer and closer to hers. She was surprised to find her own lips parted. Their breaths mingled. Her heart fluttered inside her chest. At first, it was a delicate butterfly of a kiss. Then his arms encircled her.

The kiss obliterated every thought. For the first time in forever Nathan's mind was locked into the present. The worries of the day evaporated like a summer shower onto a hot car. His usual mode of hurrying from one thing to the next was suspended, he had no wish for the kiss to end.

Drunk on endorphins his only desire was to touch her, to move his hands under her smooth summer layers and feel her perfect softness. In moments the soft caress has become more firm, he savoured her lips and the quickening of her breath that matched his own. A kiss like this was a beginning, a promise of much more to come.

Nathan held her gently, cupping her face with one hand. He leaned down and softly kissed the tender area at the base of her neck. Haley's body went rigid with surprise as trembles shook her body and the euphoric warmth blossomed within her once more. Haley was breathless with delight as he showered her with gentle, soft kisses, each with its own flicker of warmth.

Haley gazed up at him, thrilled beyond words to be the recipient of his affection. He drew back again and spent a moment studying her face.

Haley felt her blush deepen under his scrutiny. Nathan gazed at her lovingly, his eyes softening with tenderness before sparking with something else. He tilted her head to the side and kissed her, his lips demanding. She felt a smouldering heat deep within her as Nathan's grip tightened, crushing her body to his, gentle yet firm. He slanted her head further, deepening the kiss.

As Nathan and Haley became lost in the heat of the moment, they almost didn't hear Jamie let out a powerful cry. The train workers patted Nathan on the back as he pulled away from the kiss.

"Your baby is crying", said the train worker.

"Oh damn. Thank you", he looked embarrassed almost as he leaned forewords and held onto Jamie comforting him.

"Young love. I get it", he smiled

"Ha-ha, yeah. Thank you"

"No problem. We've all been there. My names Tom"

"I'm Nathan and this is my girlfriend Haley, and this little man is Jamie"

"He's adorable. Hi Haley"

"Hi", she smiled, completely red in the face.

"So where are you guys off too?"

"Atlantic City"

"Nice. Just for a vacation or visiting family or something?"

"Something like that", Nathan sighed

"Alright, well good luck with whatever it is you guys are doing. And you guys make a cute couple", he smiled as he walked off.

"Such a cock-block", Nathan smirked as he held Jamie up in front of him and laughed.

"Nathan!", Haley joked as she playfully hit his arm.

* * *

 ** _-Soon enough, Nathan and Haley finally reached Atlantic City. They got off the train, got a cab and made it to the Water Club hotel where they met Karen's brother Dalston King —_**

"Alright kids, this will be your home for the next 2-3 weeks or so", Dalston motioned as he opened the hotel suite door.

"2 bathrooms, sea view, state-of-the-art air con, fully functioning fridge and limitless TV channels. Pretty sweet deal and all for free huh?", he smiled as he lead them in.

"We can't thank you enough Mr. King", smiled Nathan

"Oh, please call me Dale. And it's no trouble at all. If you need room service, a concierge, or anything all the information is by that phone over there. And enjoy your stay at the Water Club hotel", he nodded as he walked off leaving Nathan and Haley by themselves.

"Pretty sweet place we got here", beamed Nathan as he threw himself on the large king-size bed.

"Oh that's nice. Pretty comfortable pillows and mattress. This is the good life", he joked

"Alright, don't get too comfortable because we're not gonna stay here forever", jested Haley

"Ok mood-kill", Nathan joked

"Don't"

"We gotta try calling my parents again, I've texted them to let them know since they didn't answer their phones when we got here"

Haley got out her phone as she dialled her father's number.

"Hello", she said

"Haley. I was hoping that was you", said an unfamiliar voice.

"Remember me?", said the voice

Haley's eye's widened. Her heart began to race. Who the hell was this…

"Err. Who is this?", she stuttered

"Oh, come now. You know me"

"Haley who is it?", called Nathan

Haley began to shake…

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _Tell me where it hurts to hell with everybody else. All I care about is you and that's the truth. They don't love me; I can tell. But you do, so they can go to hell. Did they ever give you a reason to believe in something different? If you're looking for love, for what it's worth I have plenty of it lying around here somewhere"_**


	16. Hope is an anthem

**Hope is an anthem**

 **A/N:** IM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER! :O. I've been updating my other fic "Tainted Royals", and sadly didn't update this one! But ya'll have waited long enough! I appreciate ALL the love and support for this fic guys, it means so much! Please enjoy, and thank you again and super sorry!

* * *

 ** _"Sometimes what you need is what you fight. Like a wounded man out on the run. Like shadows hiding from the light. But your love is what I was running from, hope's a seed you have to sow. When you let it go it comes to life. So you stretch your arrows on the bow. And you pull them back and watch them fly"_**

* * *

"You seriously don't remember who this is? Are you for real?", he joked

"No?", she was shaking.

"Its, me! Dayton! Dayton King", he said

"Oh-My-God! Dayton! You literally sounded like Dan Scott there, God!", she was relieved.

"Who the hell is Dayton?", Nathan whispered as he was confused.

"Yo, that is totally an insult. How are you doing kid?", he asked

"I'm okay. Been better. And why are you answering my parent's house phone?", she questioned.

"I'm house-sitting for them. They're gone to Georgia for the weekend"

"Georgia? Why? They didn't say anything to me?"

"Oh, probably because you had a lot of your own shit going on, they didn't wanna pile more shit on you"

"And what might that be?"

"You're great Uncle Shane passed away. I'm so sorry"

"Oh, it's okay. I mean, I didn't know him that well anyway. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No, not at all. I was just watering their plants, when you called. That's my duty for the next few days"

"Nice"

"So, how you been Hales? We haven't even spoken since all this craziness erupted which is your life man"

"I know; I feel like we've become so distant. I'm so sorry Dayton, totally my fault"

"No, no. Not at all. I understand. We can catch up soon though, you remember my Uncle Mike? The one really tall one, who you said looks like James Dean?"

"Oh, yeah. I remember"

"Well, he's moved his business to Atlantic City now. So I'm gonna be there in a few days, text me your details girl, we have to meet up"

"Ha-ha, alright. Your numbers still the same right?"

"Yes! I'll see you then. Miss you a lot"

"Me too"

"Bye"

With that they both ended the phone call. Nathan was staring at Haley in total confusion. He was lost as to who had changed Haley's mood from scared to totally happy and giddy.

"Who was that?", he asked.

"Just an old friend", she smiled

"Dayton? Does he go to our school?"

"Yep! He does"

Her answers were short and sweet. As though she was avoiding something. Nathan was curious, but also didn't want to interrogate her.

"How come, you've never mentioned him before?"

"It never came up. No one asked", she sighed

"A good friend?"

"Yeah"

"Haley", he looked her in the eyes.

"We dated okay. We dated for 5 years", she broke her awkwardness.

"Wow, 5 years. What happened?", he was stunned.

"Well first of all, my drunken night with you. And second of all, things just got messy. But he was always there for me, even though I cheated on him with you. He was a real nice guy. Always had my back. We've known each other since we were little kids, practically grew up together. And he was my first", she was lost in her own daze.

"First?", he raised an eyebrow

"Yes, Nathan. It isn't so hard to believe you weren't the only guy I had sex with. We were young and in love. And hormonal, but that's not the point. We had a good thing going, before", she stopped

"Before I came along and ruined your life", he jested.

"I never said that, that's not fair", she argued.

"Well It's not exactly false is it", he sighed

"Nathan, I care about you. I care about our son, and this family we made together. You mean a lot to me, don't you get that?"

"But that's just it, isn't it Haley. If I never got you pregnant, if we never had a kid, would there even be us?", he looked down.

"Destiny, fate, written in the stars are all just other words for God. Do you know that? It was destiny, fate or whatever you wanna call it that brought us together. For a reason Nathan. Do you get that? For a reason. It doesn't matter how it happened, how it played out. The point is, whatever's meant to be will always find a way.", she sat down next to him

"Haley, you said yourself that you loved this guy. You had a good thing going. Feelings don't just go away like that. I came along and ruined everything. I'm sure as hell you hated me for that, you resented me for that.", he cried.

"Nathan. Feelings can change. Things happen, circumstances overrule those feelings and you adapt and change, and fight. Fight for what you believe in. Dayton was there for me. But you're here now. That's what matters. Why can't you get that?"

"I feel like I'm just an extra piece to an already completed puzzle. Why are you doing this?", he was feeling dejected.

"Doing what?", she sighed.

"Lying to yourself. Look me in the eyes and tell me. Tell me that you do have feelings for him. Tell me and I'll walk away", shouting he looked her dead in the eyes. He was hurting.

Haley knew that when tension was high she should inject love instead of anger, give him an olive branch instead of enmity, but sometimes it just isn't that easy with Nathan. He gets all up in her face and she gets this urge to smack him down but if she does that he'll be gone, lost, hurting.

So instead she took all the courage she had and used it to suppress her violent impulses. She softened her eyes and held out her hand.

"Nathan, I love you. I love you now and I always will. I'll walk away if you need time to cool down, but if you want to talk instead of shout, I'm all ears."

He steamed right up her face; he wanted a fight but she wouldn't give him one. Doesn't that always lead to damage? Then he tore out of the room, revved up a bike he found and he was gone. It wasn't the evening she had planned with a movie and nachos, but at least he left with words of love in his ears. As his rage subsides they'll help him heal, calm and come back to her as the Nathan she loved so much.

A few hours passed and Nathan still hadn't come back to the hotel. Haley wasn't worried, despite his tantrum, and anger she knew he would come back. He always did. Some how, no matter how bad it got, he always found his way back to her. As if they were meant to be…

* * *

 **-4 hours later, Nathan finally arrived back to the hotel—**

Nathan was more aware of the pounding of his head than the layer of dehydrated saliva that coated his cracked lips. Once on his feet the room swayed almost causing him to loose balance and he reached out for the wall. His hand slipped along the high sheen paint and he sprawled onto the carpet with a crashing thump.

The room swirled before becoming stationary again and he used the bedstead to pull himself to standing. This feeling meant he'd had some fun the night before but somehow it wasn't there in his memory. Perhaps he had gone for a drink at the bar, he was always good for a piss up. He smacked his lips and his stomach turned in an unfriendly way.

His hands gripped the bottle, his eyes swivelling towards the back of his head in a distressed sense of a headache. He tilted his head towards the edge of the couch as he took a long swig of the dark substance that affected him.

He sighed as the walls became part of a fun house, changing figure in a blink of an eye. His breath was the underlying cause of the smell of alcohol that entered his nostrils, and his mouth was sore from the amount of alcohol that he had poured down his throat.

He cleared his throat as he stood up, just to fall back down on the couch in an unbalanced attempt to walk to the dark bedroom where he could feel the comfort of the bed to overtake the state of drunkenness. He stood again and staggered towards the bedroom, gripping on bookcases and tables to the room…

"Nathan!" Haley gasped, the saddened expression on her face made him feel even more guilty

"It's not what it looks like."

"Haley, I'm know when I'm not wanted," was all he said before abruptly turning his head.

Haley stood there, her mind failing to function, staring after him.

"I think you should fix this." Haley's voice snapped at him

"You're right." With out looking back, I run into the night, running wildly to the place I know by heart.", he was breathing heavy.

He then stayed silent, staring at her, his wide eyes becoming glossy with tears.

Nathan spoke with his head to the dusty ground, "One day you'll hate me." He said. Haley stopped like she'd taken a bullet to the guts.

"Why would you say such a thing? I love you. I can't live without you." Nathan raised his eyes to meet hers, so he would know she wasn't messing.

"It's what happens to great love when the expectations are too high. We'll be fine for a while, then the monotony of working life and kids will set in. I won't bring you flowers anymore. I'll forget our anniversary. Your friends will have nicer homes and fancier vacations. I won't be exciting, I'll be boring. Boring because I'm so damn tired."

Haley's face had lost what little colour it had had.

"Damn you, Nathan. That's nothing more than a lousy excuse not to try. Or maybe you just don't love me?!" Her eyes washed with the kind of tears that only come when people break in ways not easily repaired.

But when she met his gaze his were just the same. He did love her. So what was all this nonsense about hate?

"You will resent me, because I ruined it with the love of your life", he said in his drunken state as he fell to the floor, putting his hand on his head.

"Don't you get it? I chose you? Despite all our odds, despite all our difficulties, and horrible circumstances, we faced it together Nathan. We're meant to be.", she sat down beside him as she wrapped her arms around him and brought him in to lean on her chest.

She had her arms wrapped around his head as she placed one hand on his leg. He smelt of liquor and cigarettes. She hated that smell, she hated smoking the most. But she ignored it. She took a deep breath.

"Listen to me. I love you.", she was confident.

"I loved Dayton, but that was along time ago. And don't you think if that was meant to be, it would have worked out. But it didn't", she said stroking his head.

"You never had the chance to make it work", he argued.

"Nathan, the heartbreak I endured was no less than a hurricane. The devastation was absolute, our emotional home levelled, torn apart. There was nothing for us to return to. We stood together and alone. When I reached inside of myself I found that what is left is raw but solid, a strong foundation to build a new life upon, a peaceful one.", she had tears streaming down her face

"I have a chance to only allow in those that are kindred to my spirit, that nurture and love. I'm wiser; I know for whom the doors must always be locked. It is a chance for change and renewal, an opportunity to grow and learn.", she took a deep breath.

"Though the loss of him was once was my nightmare, I can breathe once more. I can see the light of the new day even when all else is dark. There are more dreams to come for you and I, sunshine on rainy days, laughter and silliness, just not together. I wish him happiness, joy and love. I know he wishes the same for me.", she was a mess.

Their voices rose above the sacred silence. A glance, touch, and one small comment stirred a hurricane of harsh and horsed insults. Their own Pandora boxes opened, sending each word full speed ahead to shatter our souls into a million pieces.

His face brightened, just a tone lighter than my own crimson. This was no longer "He said, she said." Blood was bound to be spilled, feelings hurt. We were never that strong to begin with, and now we'll never be as strong as we once were. Or at least he thought.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't still have feelings for him. And then I'll know", he said in his drunkard state.

Jamie let out a roaring cry. The scream was the kind of sound that bypassed your logical thinking and went direct to your emotional response. High pitched and raw it was the sound of a child in pain. It came from the darkened ally; they took off toward it full pelt despite the danger.

Haley quickly got up and tended to her son. She picked Jamie up and cradled him in her arms.

Nathan slumped to the floor as he felt the world spinning around him. He felt guilty for coming in the way of Haley and her possible love. He felt guilty for getting her drunk and pregnant amongst other things. He hated constantly feeling like this.

"You didn't answer my question", he repeated as let out a sigh.

Haley, walked over to Nathan with Jamie in her arms. She sat down beside him as she held Jamie in front of him.

"You see this little boy. You know who his daddy is? It's you. And you know who his mommy is? That's me. We're a family you and me. Nathan, I love you. I don't love Dayton. And honestly I'm so glad you came into my life. Your first love isn't your only love. And that's okay", she said as she looked him dead in the eyes.

But why did he still feel so guilty and sick? Probably all that guilt drinking he done. He had messed up everything good in his life, and he sure as hell was not going to mess this up. This good thing he had going with Haley. He didn't even understand himself sometimes.

"You love me?", he asked

"Of course I love you, you dork", she smiled as she kissed him on the forehead.

She got up and put Jamie down. Then she helped Nathan up from the floor and into the bed.

"It's gonna hurt in the morning", she said as he lay on the pillow

"It always does", he said as he closed his eyes.

* * *

 ** _-The next day, a very hung over Nathan wakes up—_**

Waves of heat coursed through his blood, a cold sweat glistened in his gaunt features. His eyes sunken and his skin sallow, everything ached, everything sagged. The glass of water stared at him from the bedside table, he took a sip and plopped back onto his pillow.

"Morning sleepy-head", Haley smiled

"Hey", he said with his eyes half open

"You feeling okay?"

"I feel like absolute shit", he sighed

"Yeah. Do you want me to massage your head?", she asked

"Well, if you insist", he laughed

Haley laughed as she placed her hands on his head, gently massaging it.

Nathan lifted his hand and placed it on Haley's arm. He held onto it tightly.

"I love you", he smiled

"I love you too"

Just then the doorbell rang. Haley got up and went close to it.

"Who is it?", she asked nervously

"It's me! Dayton", he replied

"Don't open it", called out Nathan as Haley stood there.

* * *

 ** _"My heartbeat, my oxygen. My banner, my home. My future, my son. Your hope is the anthem of my soul. My lungs and I were born to fight. Sometimes I'm not sure what I'm fighting for but death ain't the only end in sight. Cause this ain't a battle it's a lifelong war"_**


End file.
